What Were You Thinking??!!

My dear husband and I were making idle chit chat as we cooked dinner together tonight. The little Beast was underfoot as usual. DH said something about a job he had when we first got married. The little Beast screeches out:

"You guys got married???"

"What were you thinking??!!"

We all cracked up laughing, but to tell you the truth - there are days I ask myself the same thing! Ssshhh.... don't tell anybody! ;)

Six-Word Saturday: A Brother's Love

ATTACK OF THE MISCHIEVOUS BIG BROTHER!

OR: dumping water on poor Beauty's head...

Little. Brown. Stick.

In honor of Ree the Pioneer Woman judging over at i Heart Faces this week, I've decided to publish this post inspired by her that I wrote months ago but have been hesitant to share for fear it might offend some readers (how's that for a run-on sentence?!). Please let this serve as both warning and apology to my more sensitive readers: Over the next few days this blog will feature more mature than usual content, not that I won't be my same goofy childish self, just that several of the next few posts will contain adult humor. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this Ree-inspired, never-before-published post from my archives...

This post was inspired by a blogger most of you are probably familiar with: Ree of Pioneer Woman fame. (She was recently named one of Time Magazine's Top 25 Blogs!) I was cruising around her archives and found this hidden little gem. It's an audio recording of her youngest son mispronouncing a request for a juice bag. Hilarious - definitely worth a listen. Go ahead - check it out. I'll wait...

Welcome back. Now, here's the little Beast's version of dirty mispronunciation {Warning for those of you who don't appreciate adult humor - this might strike you as inappropriate, sorry!}

The little Beast is always collecting odd, useless little objects he finds outside, like buttons and rocks and pinecones. The other day at the park, it was a stick, and when he dropped it and couldn't find it again, he became a little bit frantic. Here's a couple short video clips of him whining to me about helping him look for it. See if you can catch what he actually says when he means to say "little brown stick":




What words do your kids hilariously mispronounce?!


Though this isn't a video about emotion, it is technically a vlog, so I'm submitting it over at Fort Thompson as part of their Vlogemotions carnival. I think the concern and disappointment the little Beast is feeling is evident in the clips, even if he can't yet verbalize his emotions!

Casualties of Naptime War

Naptime for the little Beast is always a struggle. Some days he falls asleep after a short round of whining and resistance. Other days, we fight it out for hours -with me usually ending up the loser. I just don't have the skills or energy to counter and defeat the litte Beast's guerilla tactics. I "lock" him in his room, he screams, kicks the walls and door, and totally destroys his bedroom. Here are some photos to illustrate just how outmatched I am in this battle:


Yes, he's crying. Because he got scolded. But you'll stop feeling sorry for him by the end of this post, I promise...






Had enough?! Me too, but the little Beast is not done yet!


Just look at that smug little smirk on his face! He knows he's winning!


Dude. You're three feet tall. How did you manage to mess up the curtains?!?!

And last but not least - The Great Diaper Disaster:

(Check out the full story of this photo - and my favorite naptime mess EVER - at this previous post.)

Anyway, these are just the battles I have photos of. I could bore you for hours with my naptime war stories, like the time the little Beast took off his own dirty diaper and used its contents to redecorate his bedroom. Ugh! Lately he's been escalating his offensive and I think it's probably about time I waved the white flag of surrender. But, boy, does it ever rankle being bested by a two year old! Grrrr...


Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Black Eye.

You Should See The Other Guy.




Or:
He Ran Into A Door. Really.

Got Milk?

The other day while driving in the car with his grandma, the little Beast spotted some cows standing in a muddy, flooded field, which led to an interesting conversation I'd love to share with you.

The little Beast said: "Those cows is standing in milk, gramma."

Grandma replied: "No, that's mud buddy. Cows don't stand in milk, they make it."

Beast: confused silence.

Grandma: "Do you know where milk comes from?"

Beast: "From my frigerator."

Grandma: "Yes, but where does mommy get the milk to put in the refrigerator?"

Beast: "From store!"

Grandma: "But where does the store get the milk?"

Beast: Thinks for a moment: "I don't know!"

Grandma: "From those cows on the farm!"

Beast: "Ooooo-oh."

Grandma: "And where does Beauty get her milk?"

Beast: "From mom's shirt!!"

Which reminds me of another story. When the little Beast was a baby, his then 4-year old cousin Ms. Smartypants, was fascinated with the concept of breastfeeding. She gave it a lot of thought. One day she announced to the family that she knew why women had two breasts:

One side for hot milk, and the other side for cold!

I love the way their cute little brains work. What are some of the funny things your kids have said?


Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Week 8!

Okay, so Spring is here which means warmer weather, flowers in bloom, and cleaning house, right?!

Not-so-much here. This morning, there was snow on the ground. Again. Ugh.

And the flowers are still middle-of-winter dead.

And as for Spring Cleaning: what would be the point? Because I live with the messiest human being, or perhaps even the messiest mammal, on Earth.
What the %@*#?!

Freshly unfolded laundry
Contents of my "to be filed" box
The little Beast's book collection, normally kept on a shelf
Previously unopened mail
Self-explanatory, I hope
And more fun with stamps and baby powder

Since I can't get any cleaning done, I'm giving away a box of goodies to help you get your cleaning done instead (includes spring washcloths and dish scrubber, fabric softener, dish soap, stain remover, dust cloths, air freshener and more!) To win, simply leave a comment on this post telling me you want them.

For extra entries, do one or all of the following (worth one entry each). Be sure to leave a separate comment for each thing you have done because that comment counts as your entry.

1. Follow my blog.
2. Be or become a member of my BlogFrog community (see lefthand sidebar).
3. Blog about this contest with a link back here.
4. Tweet and/or Facebook this contest, leaving the url in comments.

Contest ends at midnight on Saturday, April 18th. Winner will be chosen at random by random.org, and announced on Sunday (when my new giveaway begins!). Thanks for participating!

Fun in The Sun and Sand!

Or:
Can't break or destroy anything here!

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Easter Edition

Yesterday, the sun finally came out, the snow melted and it actually felt like Spring in Seattle! So I painted a flower pot, dressed up the kids, grabbed some props and headed out to the backyard to snap some Easter portraits.

Nearly 300 frames later, I had not one single decent shot to show for all my hard work. What the %@*#?! Is it so much to ask that both kids just look at the camera at the same time for one split second without crying or making a stupid face?!?! I'm not even asking for a smile here, just anything without tears or tongues, sheesh! Couldja help a mutha out here, please? Grrrr....

Six Word Saturday

Permanent Marker Is Hard To Remove

or

Anyone Want To Adopt My Toddler?

i Heart Faces Giveaway with the Little Beast!

Hi all! Just had to tell you that iCanvas is giving one lucky winner a 12 x 18 gallery wrapped canvas worth $75 over at i Heart Faces right now. And even more importantly, they are featuring my very own little Beast in a Photoshop tutorial on changing colors in your photos. Head over here to enter the giveaway, and check out what creative things Amy has done with the little Beast's picture!

And speaking of the little Beast, he is this very moment midair on his first airplane ride, taking a weekend vacation with his Grandpa Dave. We had to get him up at 4:30 a.m. to make the flight! He's never been away from home overnight, so I'm a little anxious about the trip! He's only been gone 6 hours and I already miss him, but it will be nice to have a few days without anyone decorating the furniture or the baby with ink, or dumping baby powder all over, or putting his porkchop feet on everything, or... well, you get the idea...

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Week 6

The other day, I came downstairs after nursing Beauty to sleep and found the little Beast crouched on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. He had his back to me, and was looking wide-eyed over his shoulder at me, trying to appear innocent and inconspicuous. I instantly demanded to know what he was up to, and approached him to find the item below possesively clutched to his chest.



That is a bottle of Spiderman gummy vitamins. With a child proof, twist-to-unlock lid. And yes, it is empty. Because he ate them. All of them.



What the @%*#?! Is the little Beast some kind of evil genius? Do you know how much intense concentration and coordination it must have taken for him to pull off such a feat?! First he had to climb his way to the countertop by wrapping his freaky monkey toes around these tiny knobs. Ouch!



Then he had to stand on that ice-cold granite slab barefoot and streeeeetch to reach the bottle of vitamins on the top shelf of this cupboard, without toppling over and crashing to the ground.





Then, he had to figure out how to outsmart the childproof cap and devour the dozen remaining vitamins, all without making enough noise to alarm me. And he had to accomplish this in a matter of minutes before I could return and foil his plot. If we could just teach our precocious child to use his superpowers for good instead of evil, I believe he may be capable of single-handedly resolving the economic crisis or bringing peace to the Middle East. But, alas, I fear he finds troublemaking more fun than peacemaking...

For better and more fun What the @%*#?! Wednesday posts, visit here, here, here or here!

I Heart {Pouting} Faces

This week's theme over at i Heart Faces is Pouting. I had such a hard time deciding which picture to use. After getting feedback from family and friends, this shot of the little Beast came out on top. I LOVE this photo. We were at a friend's house and they had just mowed the grass on their beautiful property. The morning dew made the grass clippings stick to the little Beast's feet, which he HATED. This photo makes me laugh everytime I look at it. Enjoy!

What the %@*#?! Wednesday Again

Ahem. My dear little Beast. Could you tear your eyes away from that cartoon for a moment? This may come as a surprise to you, but your baby sister is a human being. And decidedly

Not.

A.

Chair.

Not to mention that you outweigh her by about 20 pounds.

So, would you kindly find a new seat?

But wait! First let me snap a crooked, blurry, cluttered picture. (I'm sure it's not the least bit confusing that I'm telling you to move and stay put at the same time.)

Why, yes, reader, that is exactly the calm manner in which I addressed the little Beast when I walked in on him using Beauty as a makeshift stool. I certainly did not raise my voice or make idle threats. Oh, and please don't worry your pretty little head about our Beauty, as she wasn't bothered in the least at being crushed underneath her big brother. In fact, she actually had the nerve to smile and laugh while he tortured her this way. What the %@*#?!

Before you go, don't forget to check out my Support Our Troops Giveaway, for a chance or two to win an awesome care package!