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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Damn. You. Dora.

So this will come as no surprise to my regular readers, but in addition to being wild, crazy, destructive and aggressive, the little Beast is, above all things, L-O-U-D! I mean, grit-your-teeth, clench-your-fists, make-your-ears-bleed noisy. I have been trying to teach him volume control for weeks. We encourage the "inside voice", give timeouts when he wakes his sister with his yelling, even the occassional spanking when the shrieking gets out of control. But all my hardwork is undone every morning at 10:30, when Dora the Explorer takes over our lives.

There are tons of things that annoy me about Dora: her squeaky, nasally voice; her stupid, stuck-in-my-head-all-day songs, that meanypants Swiper. But nothing on television, not the violence of SpongeBob or the bizarre freakiness of Yo! Gabba Gabba, bothers me as much as the top-of-the-lungs call-and-response of Dora. Every episode, over and over again, she tells viewers "Say. It. Louder!" And the little Beast is more than happy to comply, to the misfortune of my poor ears and short thread of patience. The show is only 20 minutes long, but 4 minutes into it, I'm ready to reach into the television and squeeze Dora until her ginormous head explodes!

So, this is it. No more Dora in this house. EVER. Not even if it is the only show on television when Publisher's ClearingHouse shows up with a ten million dollar check for me if I could just distract my kid long enough to sign it. No thanks. You can keep your ten million dollars. We are "Done. With. Dora!" Consider this your official notice, Nickelodeon, we are BOYCOTTING Dora until you teach her to use her inside voice!

If you've got something to vent or complain about, head over to Mama Loco's and link up!



*photo property of www.doratheexplorertvshow.com

37 comments:

Simply AnonyMom said...

Well, on the bright side, this fall she is aging and will become a tween explorer. She will move to the city and use the internet to help her explore. Hopefully they will give her an inside voice while they are giving her extensions and a breast augmentation?

Miss Mouthy said...

I totally agree. Dora drives me crazy! Except my girls are usually waking ME up!

Did you ever see the SNL skit about Dora? It was so funny. "Don't think. Just DO it!" I tried to find it on youtube, but I couldn't find it. Arg!

The Rambler said...

Hahaha....funny!

Wait, I mean, I feel you. You know what I mean :)

Elaine at Matters of the Heart) said...

I am laughing so hard, we have some Dora fans in my house. Man can I relate

BoufMom9 said...

LOL Too funny! We don't watch Dora at all in our house. I REFUSE!

PS Stopping by from SITS. You signed in right above me :)

Synergy Girl said...

Amen Sister....

I H a T e D o R a

as well!! She is the most annoying cartoon availabe...also, beware of Cayou...her evil co-conspirator on PBS I think (it's been so long, I couldn't even tell you)...he is whiney, loud, and has that same...annoying pitch that makes you want to scrape your own teeth on a chalkboard....

Sally's World said...

LOL, i loved the day my youngest deemed himself too old for Dora, Diego, Swiper and that bloody ridiculous little monkey boots....i wanted to stick my book, right up his little monkey but, he drove me mad!!!

The Blonde Duck said...

LOL! Popped in from SITS! I don't like Dora either. Boycott, away!

Lolli said...

I was JUST talking to my 12 year old about how Dora never speaks anything--she YELLS everything! So true!

Kelly said...

My kids love Dora too! I agree with exactly how you explained her. Does he like Curious George...that is my son's other favorite...it is much more manageable!
Have a great rest of your week!

Kati said...

Ahh! It's not that bad. At least you wont be spending your birthday at DORA LIVE!!

Donna Boucher said...

My husbands family is SUPER loud.
We joke abut it :o)

You need that quiet talking Mr Rogers

Mighty M said...

She is going to grow up this fall! Maybe she will be less annoying then!

lmt1073 said...

and you know, i just read an article where they are making an older version of Dora... the drama will never end!

Kameron said...

You should really check out a post by one of my bloggy friends. i think you would get a kick out of it!!

http://momydoesntlivehereanymore.blogspot.com/2008/11/damn-it-dora.html

P.S. I hate Dora too!

Kimm at Reinvented said...

Too funny. We are WAY past the Dora days, thank goodness. At least she's not PG-13! That's the content I'm worrying about now!

Momma@Live. Laugh. Pull your hair out said...

Hahahahaha...very funny! I myself cannot stand alot of the shows out there. But In the Night Garden has to be the worst.

Heather @ Sugar N Spice Mostly Nice said...

When we went to our oldest preschool conferences a few weeks ago his teacher asked, "Does Logan always talk so loud?" We are constantly saying "Logan I'm right beside you. Please lower your voice!"

If you get a petition going, let me know. I'll sign it. I too hate Dora!

Courtney and the Boys said...

Oh my gosh...I have seriously got to pick myself up off the floor laughing! You are flippin' hysterical, girlfriend!

Death to Dora.

Alexia said...

Dora drives me batty and it has never been introduced to my children. I'll kill whoever does introduce it LOL

Melinda said...

Holy cow, this post cracked me up. Every show you listed is on my "Could we please find something else to watch?" list. Let me know how boycotting it goes.

Fruitfulvine2 said...

Oh my! I agree but what do you think his reaction is going to be?

Heather said...

I am so with you on Dora! I can not stand that show, and have never turned it on for my daughter. I think the only thing more annoying than Dora is Barney, and The Wiggles!

Emily said...

Too funny! We are a Dora-free household as well. And I hope you get the volume level under control soon. My 4 year old still needs help with that...and his little sister is quickly learning as well! lol

missy said...

dora must be very annoying.....because spongebob does to me what dora does to you.....i just want to scream!!!!!! why do you want to watch that crap....is what i want to say...but instead....no spongebob when i am in the house and can hear the tv!!!!!

...The Obnoxious SAHM.... said...

Dora must die.

Libby said...

Haha! My mom has a daycare in our home, so I have plenty kid shows that make me feel the same way! I know how it feels! lol

Susie said...

I never noticed how loud Dora is but now that I think about it, she really is. There has to be another way to build excitement than raising the volume.

KatieSaysSo said...

that is hilarious!!!! you are so funny!!! and i really do agree!

Diesel said...

Diego is still ok though, right?

Christi said...

Swiper no swiping. Swiper no swiping. That's all that Dalyla says. I'm with you. Screw Dora!

Robyn said...

I'm watching Dora right now! LOL On a brighter side, my daughter just turned 2 a few months ago and at the dinner table the other night, out of no where, she started counting in spanish up to 6. I was amazed because I hadn't taught her that! So Dora's loud, but the kids listen that's for sure! LOL

Anonymous said...

i also hate D D Dora with a passion

Chris said...

I was chuckling as I read, until I got to the part about squeezing Dora until her head explodes.

Then I fell off of my chair!

Brenda Jean said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA My daughter is past Dora age now, but I do remember the loud part. Steve (before Joe) on Blue's Clues was nice and quiet. I don't remember him yelling. It was nice. Sigh. All my kids went through the loud stage. I don't remember doing anything to stop it really. Seems like they just gave it up one day. Let's hope your day comes SOON:)

Mariel said...

Hey fellow SITS friend! This post is too funny! I can't stand Dora either, it always surprises me that she has been around as long as she has. I like to stick to Max & Ruby, Charlie & Lola, and Little Bear...all nice, sweet, and quiet.

Brea's Mommy said...

We don't watch Dora at my house just because my daughter isn't that into her yet. Although she does like Spongebob and says bob whenever she sees him. That is from Grandma's house not mine. We usually stick with word world and sing a longs at home! Good luck with the boycott! Thanks for participating in Show off your Blog Saturday. Hope you can join in again next week.