Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! invented by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. I've never participated in this meme before, but this week, I was just such an exceptionally superior mother and human being, that I couldn't resist bragging about a few of the things I didn't do! *wink, wink*

I certainly did not cuss out another car while driving my kiddos to the park this week, and my toddler did not immediately and repeatedly mimic the foul language I didn't speak. And I was not amused and grateful that he mistakenly pronounced my colorful word as "ack-jass" instead of shouting it out the right way.

I did not eat an entire bag of Famous Amos bite-sized cookies in one sitting. I wouldn't do that because I am on a diet. I'm going to lose 15 pounds in 11 weeks, which will be a piece of cake (pun intended) because I possess the most amazing willpower and never give in to my sweet tooth cravings.

I also did not create a makeshift lipstick out of Carmex and pink marker after I did not forget my favorite gloss when meeting friends for lunch this week. I am not that desperately vain.

I did not throw a stuffed dog at my son's head to get him to quiet down while I was on the phone after my highly-effective finger-snapping, glaring and exaggerated head shaking did not work. That would be childish and borderline abusive. And of course I am a model of maturity and unshakable patience.

And speaking of my extraordinary patience, there is no way that instead of cuddling the little Beast as he bawled his eyes out after taking a tumble, I might have said "Well, if you had listened to mommy in the first place and not climbed up the changing table, you wouldn't have fallen and hurt yourself!" I didn't say that because I am endlessly empathetic, even at the end of an extremely trying, napless day!

There, glad I got that off my chest. If you've got some things you want to cop to NOT doing this past week, head over to MckMama's site and play Not Me! too.