Two Under Two. Whew!

How Can A 3 Year Old Make Me Feel So Foolish?

2010-05-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

The other day we were driving in the car. I'm a really bad driver. Always irritated at other drivers. We were at a 4 way stop and nobody would go. I hate that nobody seems to remember or understand how right-of-way works. I waved to the person whose turn it was to go ahead. She just stared at me. I waved again. More staring. I flashed my lights. Nothing. So I sped away from the intersection grumbling nasty insults under my breath at the idiot in the other minivan. From the backseat came a little voice:

The little Beast: "Mom, who are you talking to?"

Me: "The lady in that car back there."

TLB, looking over his shoulder: "She can't hear you."

Me, sheepishly: "Uh, you're right buddy. That's a good point."

TLB: "I know. I'm, like, a genius."
Me: cracking up laughing...

I love this little man - he always says the most surprising things - one sentence thoughtfully profound and the next laugh-out-loud hilarious. Isn't he adorable?!

Finally! Something Worth Posting!

2010-04-18T23:46:00.000-07:00

I haven't had much time to devote to this, my beloved blog, what with hubby starting a new job and me launching my own small business, but I have been so moved by a local story that I had to carve out a few minutes to share it with all of you.

It was two years ago this June that Carol and Scott Decker gave birth to their second daughter, Safiya, by emergency c-section because Carol had come down with an infection that turned septic. The infection and the medications used to treat its symptoms caused a lot of damage to Carol's system and resulted in the amputation of both legs, one arm, and the loss of her sight. After many months of rehabilitation, Carol is home with her husband and children and trying to flourish in a home without the necessary improvements for an occupant with disabilities. As you might imagine in a depressed economy and facing mounting medical bills, there are not funds to finance an upgrade or remodel of the home to accomodate Carol's handicaps. So, some caring friends in our hometown have nominated the Deckers for ABC's Extreme Home Makeover and are launching a campaign to rally behind this family and encourage ABC to choose them as a candidate for the show.

You can read more about their story and their amazingly positive attitudes at their blog, and you can be a part of the movement to make them visible to ABC by joining their Facebook Fan Page and leaving a comment about how the family's story has touched your life!

What Were You Thinking??!!

2010-01-12T22:54:00.000-08:00

My dear husband and I were making idle chit chat as we cooked dinner together tonight. The little Beast was underfoot as usual. DH said something about a job he had when we first got married. The little Beast screeches out:

"You guys got married???"

"What were you thinking??!!"

We all cracked up laughing, but to tell you the truth - there are days I ask myself the same thing! Ssshhh.... don't tell anybody! ;)

The Hawk

2009-11-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

The other day while walking through the grocery store parking lot, the little Beast pointed out a bird sitting on top of a light post. The conversation went like this:

TLB: Look, Mom! A bird. It's a hawk!

Me (looking closer): No buddy, that's not a hawk, it's a crow.

TLB: Noooooo. It's a hawk.

Me: Buddy, it's a crow.

TLB: Mom, no it's not. It's a hawk. Listen. It says, "haawk, haaawk".

Gotta love this kid!

An Apology Limerick

2009-10-28T19:38:00.000-07:00

There once was a blogger named Carebear,

Who at first blogged much more than her fair share,

What fun it once was,

But not now because,

New posts are really quite rare there.

Please forgive our mommy for being so neglectful of our blog. We really miss interacting with all of you and catching up on your kiddos. We pray that as the weather cools, things will slow down and allow more time for blogsurfing. We hope all of you are doing well - We will stop by to visit you soon.

Love, Beauty and the little Beast

What I'm Doing Instead of Blogging...

2009-10-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

Introducing my new small business venture!

OR: Wish me luck, I'll need it! ;-)

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Beauty's Debut

2009-09-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

I thought I had a lot more time before Beauty would start to give the little Beast a run for his money in the What the %@*#?! moment race. I was wrong. She is into Ev. Ry. Thing. But nothing makes me say What the %@*#?! more than this particular mess.

The little Beast was recently potty trained and sometimes forgets to put the toilet lid down.

He also sometimes forgets to flush.

Ewwwww.... Say it with me: What the %@*#?!

I'm Baaaaaack! And I Brought A Friend!

2009-09-20T21:38:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed my summer blogcation, but I really missed you, my pretend Internet friends. That's just part of the reason I'm so happy to come back in time to welcome a special bloggy-friend guest! The fabulous women of Moxie Media, a new network of women bloggers, sent their mascot on a virtual tour of the United States recently, and I'm representing Washington State (insert shoutout to the 206 area code here).

I took Moxie Mona on a tour of the most spectacular places in Western Washington this week, and I'd like to share Mona's vacation album with you. When you're done enjoying it, head over to visit any of these ladies from Moxie Media for links to Mona's visits to other states!

Lolli from Better in Bulk
Angie at Seven Clown Circus
Kat at Mama's Losin' It
Jill at Scary Mommy

First, Mona took in the gorgeous view of Mt. Rainier that I enjoy from my hometown everyday.

Then, she visited Seattle's Alki Beach at sunset.

From Alki Beach, she oohed and aahed over the beautiful Seattle skyline.

And the world famous Space Needle.

I had many other plans for Moxie Mona, but alas, it wasn't to be. While minding her own business in my living room one day, she was attacked and defeated by the Tired Teething Toddler Terror, kryptonite to supermoms everywhere.

See, first Beauty dragged Mona off to her lair:

Then, she contemplated what kind of torture to inflict upon poor Mona:

And finally, she drowned Mona in drool while biting her all over. What a terrible way to go....

Well, it was good while it lasted Mona. I hope you fare better in other states. As for the rest of you, don't forget to check out the brand new blog, Mayhem & Moxie, written by the team formerly known as 3 Bay B Chicks!

The Wiggles are Coming! {A Giveaway!}

2009-06-22T20:14:00.000-07:00

UPDATED with winner: Congratulations Pam! Thanks to random.org, you and Laney have won 4 tickets to the Wiggles! Thanks to all who entered. If you'd still like to go to the show, it's not too late to buy tickets. And Beauty and the little Beast readers can get $5.00. Just enter the code MOM when you buy your tickets online. Now, I'm back to my blogcation, but look for me in about 6 weeks! I'll be back with new giveaways, funny stories and pictures!
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

We interrupt our regularly scheduled summer blogcation to talk about four of the little Beast's favorite people - those singing, dancing cuties from Down Under, the Wiggles! If you're a caregiver of toddlers or preschoolers and you've never heard of the Wiggles, then you must be living under a rock. Just kidding. Seriously, though, if you and your kids haven't gotten to know the Wiggles, you should!

Now, you all know that there are kids programs that I would rather gouge my eyes out than watch, and even some that are simply banned from our house altogether (remember my rant about a certain pint-sized, Spanish-speaking brunette who recently underwent a major growth spurt?). Fortunately, my little Beast and I can agree that the Wiggles are a great way to start our day!

The Wiggles are on very early here in Seattle so it's the first show that the little Beast watches when he wakes up at the crack of dawn. It's such a cheerful way for him to entertain himself while gulping down waffles and chocolate milk. The Wiggles program has a really fun, slightly retro feel - a good old-fashioned variety show for kids, with musical numbers, goofy skits and even a cartoon segment. With a campy cast of characters and a plethora of silly songs, the Wiggles is a delightfully upbeat and positive half hour of viewing pleasure (and they ain't hard to look at either!).

And this summer, we all have the opportunity to enjoy the Wiggles live on stage! That's right, the Wiggles are currently touring the States! Sam, Murry, Jeff and Anthony are bringing their friends Dorothy, Wag and Captain Feathersword to the Comcast Event Center in Everett, Washington, on Friday, July 17, 2009 and one lucky reader of this blog is going to win 4 tickets to the show! Here's how to enter:

Leave me a comment telling me what you love about the Wiggles. If you're not sure, you can visit their super-cool website and browse around until you find something you like!

You can earn extra entries for helping us spread the word about this giveaway and the Wiggles Go Bananas Tour. Leave a separate comment to earn an extra entry for each of the following:

1. Blog about this giveaway on your own website. Leave the url to your post in your comment.
2. Twitter this giveaway. Leave the url of your tweet in your comment below.
3. Post a link to this giveaway on Facebook. Leave your Facebook url or username in your comment.
4. Email the link and a description of this contest to your friends and family. Copy me on the email at cari_berry@hotmail.com. Leave your email address in your comment below.

Contest ends Friday, July 10, 2009 at 8 pm PDT. Winner will be randomly selected using the random.org widget. Tickets will be available for pick up at the will call window on the day of the show.

If you'd like to BUY tickets, they are available at the Comcast Arena at Everett Box Office, www.comcastarenaeverett.com or charge by phone 866.332.8499.

An Announcement

2009-06-18T20:35:00.000-07:00

I have put off making this announcement until the very last minute because I wasn't sure what I wanted to say. But if I waited for the right words to come then I would never write this post and you all (or maybe one or two of you anyway) would be sitting in cyberspace wondering, "Whatever happened to Carebear and her crazy kids, Beauty and the little Beast?!"

I have decided to take a summer vacation from blogging. Between family commitments, teaching Bible school, working and playing with my new baby (the Nikon D90), I have not one single second of free time to dedicate to blogging. I'm disappointed that there aren't more hours in the day, or fewer obligations, but C'est La Vie, as they say in their obnoxious accents.

I do have a few pre-written posts scheduled to publish over the next few weeks, and of course, I will spend a few minutes each day visiting as many of your wonderful blogs as I can, but for the months of July and August, Not Quite A Fairytale... Beauty and the little Beast will be on hiatus.

I thank you all for understanding and hope you'll join me here again in the Fall for improved pictures, funny stories and awesome giveaways. Enjoy a fabulous summer and take care of you and yours!

I Heart {Sepia-Toned} Faces

2009-06-15T23:55:00.001-07:00

This week's theme at i Heart Faces is sepia toned.

I had a hard time deciding between Beauty and Ms. Smartypants for my kids entry, but I was so pleased with how the conversion turned out in this photo that I had to enter it. I converted this photo to sepia in GIMP, then added film grain and burned the edges in Picnik.

My adult entry is a portrait of my good friend Colleen at seven months pregnant. I originally converted it to black and white, but tinting it sepia in GIMP only took a minute and I really like the way it turned out.

For more sepia toned images, head over to i Heart Faces and browse through the 500 or so links you'll find there...

Torture By Water

2009-06-12T21:09:00.000-07:00

It's gonna be a long summer...

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, CAPTCHA

2009-06-09T19:54:00.000-07:00

It has been too long since I posted a What the %@*#?! Wednesday story, and today, since I'm already giving away sex toys, I figured I might as well jump into the adult content with both feet. Here goes:

Over the past few months, I've observed a disturbing trend in CAPTCHA, the word verification system Blogger uses to ensure that the people leaving you comments are normal humans and not computer-generated spammers. Take this gem for instance:

Now, I know it's not an exact spelling of the feminine hygiene product or that name my husband loves to call people who drive slow in the fast lane (d-bag), but still, it's a questionable choice for word verification, dontcha think?

And what about this one? Again, I know it's "misspelled" but still - What the %@*#?!

Then there's this doozy, my favorite of this trifecta - an actual curse word spelled correctly, and worst of all, presented when I was leaving a comment on a mommy blog that focuses on Christ and makes a point of abstaining from questionable, offensive or adult content. Say it with me now - What the %@*#?!

Call me juvenile, but I laugh out loud everytime I get a CAPTCHA word that's the least bit dirty. I feel like Beavis or Butthead cracking myself up over a dirty word. Heh, heh. She said crack. Heh, heh.

Do you pay attention to your CAPTCHA words? Do they ever make you laugh? Recently, when reading comments over at Cake Wrecks, I noticed people copying their CAPTCHA words into their comments and creating their own definitions for them. Things like:

WV*: Halis. As in, “What the halis wrong with these cakes?”

or

WV: Unsoc, as in, “Excuse me while I unsoc my feet.”

Hilarious right? In fact, it's so amusing to me that I'm turning word verification back on for a few days so we can all play along. I encourage (beg) you to use your CAPTCHA word in a sentence at the end of any comments you leave on my blog this week. There might just be a prize involved for one or two lucky commenters!

WV = word verification

Fan of the Week!!!

2009-06-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

There isn't an i Heart Faces contest this week, but contestants are encouraged to share their vacation photos with readers. Since my husband never takes us anywhere *wink wink* I've decided to share something exciting that happened to me over the weekend instead. You can checkout the full post over at i Heart Faces, or just read the excerpt I've "borrowed" below:

Congrats to our Fan of the Week!

Carebear @ Not Quite a Fairytale... Beauty and the Little Beast
(formerly - Two Under Two. Whew!)

Carebear has been one of our biggest supporters from the beginning and we want to give her a big shout out!!

Her self portrait was one of our favorites!!

We love reading her blog which is full of inspiration, wonderful photos and fun mommy stories.

Be sure to visit Carebear’s blog to say congrats and thanks for commenting on so many of your blogs and for being such a great supporter of I ♥ Faces!
We ♥ you Carebear!!

Isn't that awesome?! Thank you Angie and Amy - I'm honored and flattered and such a big fan!

100th Post Celebration and Giveaway!

2009-06-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

Wow, I cannot believe it! I've reached my 100th post and 300 followers in the same week! How exciting! Let's celebrate with a giveaway! But first, since it's my blog and my party, you have to take a short walk with me down memory lane...

I started this blog in January as a way to keep my hubby up-to-date on the kids while he was in Oklahoma for a few months. But really, it has ended up being so much more - in fact, I'm not sure my husband even reads it anymore! When I first started blogging, I posted every day, but recent life changes (Beauty grew up and stopped sleeping 20 hours a day; the little Beast gave up naps; I went back to work part-time;, hubby came home and actually expects me to spend time with him...) have forced me to cut back to a couple times a week. Still, I enjoy so much the friendships I've formed with other bloggers, the fun comments I get, and the way that blogging about the crazy things my toddler does helps me see the humor in them.

To celebrate my 100th post, I'm revisiting where it all started, when I had, like, 3 readers, and they were all people I knew in real life who owed me favors. So here it is for all of you who missed it the first time around, my very first post:

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

The other day as I was getting out of the shower, the little Beast came running into the bathroom covered in goo up to his elbows. He thrust his hands toward me and said with pride lighting up his face, "Look, Mommy, I got shampoo!" On closer inspection, I noticed the goo covered not only his hands and arms, but was rubbed in his hair as though he had tried to wash with it. I knew whatever the slimy substance was, it couldn't be shampoo, as all our bottles had been safe in the shower with me. I asked the little Beast to show me where he'd found this "shampoo," so he led me into my own bedroom to the far side of my unmade bed, and opened the drawer to my nightstand. Then he reached into the drawer and with a triumphant flourish handed me ... An empty bottle of KY Jelly!

"See, Mom, shampoo!" he gleefully shrieked as I fell onto the goo-covered bed laughing hysterically.

Funny, right?!

In keeping with the theme of my very first post, I'm giving away a set of KY massage oils!

And just so you don't have to feel embarrassed about entering to win KY, I'm throwing in a bunch of items relevant to my blog (but you and I will both know you're really entering for the lubricant.) ;-)

In addition to the KY six-pack, the winner will also receive all this:

1. Set of colored Sharpie pens in honor of my little home decorator.
2. Flowered Headband, Beauty's signature style piece.
3. Chocolate Covered Pretzels, a personal obsession.
4. Cheesecake-scented tealights to remind you of my very first giveaway.
5. Seattle Chocolates because they frickin' rock, and so does my hometown!
6. The green coil bracelet from A Work of Heart Jewelry, my real-life BFF!

To enter, just leave a comment on this post. I will automatically give one extra entry to each of my 304 existing followers (thank you!!!). Bonus entry if you fave me on technorati or twitter about my giveaway. Leave a separate comment for each entry with the url to your tweet or username for technorati.

FIVE EXTRA ENTRIES for anyone who buys a piece of jewelry from A Work of Heart. Just leave me a comment letting me know you've done so.

Contest ends Thursday, June 11th at 9 p.m. PDT. Winner will be randomly chosen by random.org. Stay tuned next week for another giveaway featuring my brand new blog button!!! Best of luck, and thanks for being part of my celebration!

i Heart Faces Pet Week!

2009-06-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

This week at i Heart Faces there is a "Happy Birthday" category and a "Pets" category. I don't have a single birthday shot worthy of entering, but I do have a pet photo I absolutely love.

I snapped this on Saturday at my mom's house with the point & shoot I'm still stuck with. I was practicing macro shots of flowers when I happened to glance up and notice the little Beast chatting with his favorite playmate. I'm glad I didn't pause to correct the settings on my camera because a second later they were off and running and I would have missed capturing this adorable moment. It's definitely not a perfect shot, but it is a perfect memory!

SWS: Speech Impediment Rhymes

2009-05-30T09:42:00.000-07:00

I got "wocks" in my "cwocs"!!!!

Silhouette Runner Up

2009-05-26T10:21:00.000-07:00

As I've been making the rounds viewing the awesome i Heart Faces Silhouette entries this week, I've noticed a lot of bloggers posting their photos that didn't make the cut. Because I worked so hard to capture silhouette shots, even keeping my kids up WAY past bedtime hoping to catch the sunset (didn't happen - I swear it doesn't come until 9 pm in Seattle!!!), I'm posting the shot I would've entered for the kids category had there been one this week!

You can view my actual entry in my previous post! Thanks.

I Heart Silhouettes

2009-05-26T07:40:00.000-07:00

It's silhouette week at i Heart Faces. I dragged the family to the beach to practice, practice, practice Susan Keller's tips for my kids entry, only to learn it was a one entry contest again this week! So my shots of Beauty and the little Beast were pushed aside in favor of my adult entry, a photo I took many weeks ago of my good friend Colleen (seven months pregnant) and her 19-month old daughter.

6WS: Just another day at the beach...

2009-05-21T19:41:00.001-07:00

A Little Dirt Never Hurt Anyone!

Take one guess how this happened...

Hit Me With Your Best Shot!

2009-05-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

This week at i Heart Faces is really special. They are requesting the very best closeup face photos from both amateurs (that's me!) and professionals. The winners will be published in an i Heart Faces photobook by Blurb!

Thank you to everyone who responded to my cry for help in choosing which of my top 5 face photos to enter (prizes will be awarded soon!). Although many of you liked Ms. Smartypants in braids, and a few liked Beauty's photos, a huge majority of you voted for this photo of the little Beast:

I hope we made the right choice!

I am submitting this photo into the www.iheartfaces.com Blurb Book photo contest. I am granting I ♥ Faces permission to use my photo in a printed version of a book for commercial use and possibly advertising of a photo book on both the Blurb and I ♥ Faces web sites.

Please Help Me Choose My BEST Face!

2009-05-18T07:18:00.000-07:00

This week at i Heart Faces is HUGE. The very best faces entered this week will be published in a BOOK!!! That is a lot of pressure and I want to make the right choice, but I have looked at these pictures so many times - and I look at these faces all day in real life too - so I cannot make a clearheaded decision. That's why I need your help!

Which of the following photos do you consider the very best face photo (some of them have been previously posted here, but the contest calls for my BEST photo whether its been submitted before or not)? Which one do you think the talented photographer judges at i Heart Faces might consider worthy enough to PUBLISH in an actual book - remember I'll be competing against some much better photographers!?

I'm leaning towards the last one of the little Beast in the tunnel. Thanks in advance for your feedback. Perhaps a prize randomly awaits one of you helpful commenters???

**SEE PREVIOUS POST BELOW FOR WINNERS OF THE I HEART SEATTLE GIVEAWAY AND PICTURES OF BEAUTIFUL SEATTLE!!!

WinnerS and Pictures: I Heart Seattle

2009-05-17T23:05:00.001-07:00

I'm super excited to announce the winner of my wicked-awesome Seattle prize pack because I really do love this place:
the Space Needle. (Taken from my car while driving in rush hour traffic, not technically legal, but who could resist that cool view?)
Mount Rainier at Sunset
A Forest Road (taken from my car while not driving)
Freight ship entering the Puget Sound
Beachfront at Dash Point State Park

What a great city, huh? The random.org selected winner of the I Heart Seattle Giveaway should have been commenter #21, none other than the funny, sweet and oh-so-generous BlogBaby. But her comment says "No need to enter me for the contest..." and when I contacted her to tell her she was technically the winner, she said that she would be thrilled if I would make someone else's day by selecting them as the recipient for all those fabulous Seattle-made goodies! And that blessed person, also selected by random.org, is:

Shonni of Nations Around Our Table. Congratulations! Please contact me via email before Friday to claim your prize or I'll have to choose another winner.

And speaking of another winner: It was so much fun reading all the things you loved about Seattle that I decided to award prizes for my 5 favorite comments about Seattle!!

I'll be mailing some yummy Seattle goodies to each of the following fabulous FIVE folks. (Dontcha love alliteration? I felt a smidge like MckMama typing that, LOL!)

Runners Up:
Heather at But I Don't Want To Be A Cowboy for her entertaining blog post about her trip to Seattle (read it here!)

DiPaola Momma of Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom for this funny and totally accurate comment:

"Where oh were should I start with the "I love"s? let's see.. I LOVE the new layout! You already know I love Beauty's big flower headband! I love that Beast owns his status. I love how you make me giggle... Now on to Seattle. I love Puget Sound (did I spell that right?). It's so serene. Then I love the fish market. I'm a fresh fish girl and it don't get no fresher than dat! I love the vibe in Seattle, sort of brainy-hippie meets angst and creativity. I don't love the weather 10 months of the year though. So sign me up.. cuz one last thing.. I LOVE THE COFFEE AND I NEED IT!!!!"

Mikki Black of Here's What Let's Do for her heartfelt nostalgia and shameless sweet-talking:

"How awesome are you?! (Aside from the re-design, I mean.) I almost never go to the contests featured on the Sunday Shout-outs, but I couldn't pass yours up. I am soooooooooooo homesick for Seattle. We went to college in Kirkland - right on the other side of Lake Washington - and used to hop the bus over the bridge ALL the time to wander about in the city. I want that basket so bad, I can smell the Sound! (hope I win and thanks for the chance!)"

Margaret of Nanny Goats in Panties because she left a fun comment listing some of my own favorite Seattle places, and well, really, the name of her blog just cracks me up!

"I came over here from SITS because you were the commenter before me and now this????? A contest? OK let's see...the thing I like about Seattle besides Starbucks? Hmmmm. Uhhhh, the weather? Yeah, that's it. The weather. And don't you have a needle in space? That's kinda cool. And there used to be a Ye Olde Curiosity Shop down by the water maybe? I don't really remember, I was a kid. And the Pacific Science Center, that was fun. Did I mention Starbucks already? Do you guys have Starbucks up there? OK, but seriously... I think I missed your previous banner, but I really like your new one! Very cool!"

Christina of Rant-Rave-Roll because her brown-nosing made me chuckle. She left this comment:

"Holy Cow! Is this Extreme Blog Makeover? It looks awesome! And Seattle... One of the things I love and make Seattle great is that you live there... OK.. ok.. I know! Total suck-up momnet. It is green... is that better?"

Winners, please contact me at cari_berry@hotmail.com with your mailing address and I will send off your prizes! Thanks to everyone who entered, especially those of you who follow my blog. This was a really fun contest for me - I wish I could give you all prizes! Fortunately, I am just a few days away from my 100th post and will be having another giveaway to celebrate, so stay tuned for a chance to win a new prize her at Not Quite A Fairytale.... Beauty and the little Beast!

Six-Word Saturday: A Brother's Love

2009-05-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

ATTACK OF THE MISCHIEVOUS BIG BROTHER!

OR: dumping water on poor Beauty's head...

Little. Brown. Stick.

2009-05-14T20:50:00.000-07:00

In honor of Ree the Pioneer Woman judging over at i Heart Faces this week, I've decided to publish this post inspired by her that I wrote months ago but have been hesitant to share for fear it might offend some readers (how's that for a run-on sentence?!). Please let this serve as both warning and apology to my more sensitive readers: Over the next few days this blog will feature more mature than usual content, not that I won't be my same goofy childish self, just that several of the next few posts will contain adult humor. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this Ree-inspired, never-before-published post from my archives...

This post was inspired by a blogger most of you are probably familiar with: Ree of Pioneer Woman fame. (She was recently named one of Time Magazine's Top 25 Blogs!) I was cruising around her archives and found this hidden little gem. It's an audio recording of her youngest son mispronouncing a request for a juice bag. Hilarious - definitely worth a listen. Go ahead - check it out. I'll wait...

Welcome back. Now, here's the little Beast's version of dirty mispronunciation {Warning for those of you who don't appreciate adult humor - this might strike you as inappropriate, sorry!}

The little Beast is always collecting odd, useless little objects he finds outside, like buttons and rocks and pinecones. The other day at the park, it was a stick, and when he dropped it and couldn't find it again, he became a little bit frantic. Here's a couple short video clips of him whining to me about helping him look for it. See if you can catch what he actually says when he means to say "little brown stick":

What words do your kids hilariously mispronounce?!

Though this isn't a video about emotion, it is technically a vlog, so I'm submitting it over at Fort Thompson as part of their Vlogemotions carnival. I think the concern and disappointment the little Beast is feeling is evident in the clips, even if he can't yet verbalize his emotions!

I Heart {Laughing} Faces

2009-05-11T16:25:00.000-07:00

This week's theme at i Heart Faces is Laughter, a great week made even better by the fact that this week's judge is the incomparable Ree Drummond - the Pioneer Woman herself! See her linked over there in my sidebar under "Blogs I Heart"? I do, I really do! She was one of Time Magazine's Top 25 Bloggers of 2009! I've seen some of her posts garner over 18,000 comments. And now there is a chance she might be stopping by my blog! Isn't that intimidating?! If you've never entered a photo at i Heart Faces before, this would be the week to start!

My kids entry is the little Beast preparing to peg me with a snowball on his very first snow day. I love the genuine fun and humor in his adorable little face. That day in the snow is one of my favorite memories because we all laughed so hard. BTW, daddy made that perfect snowball then coached the little Beast to throw it at me...

My adult entry was taken almost exactly a year ago at a rare breakfast out after church. The little Beast was trying to make faces at me and it cracked his daddy up! Maybe you can tell from the picture, maybe not, but my husband has the world's BEST laugh - he puts everything he has into it!

Blogger is cutting off the right-hand edge of each photo for some reason, but you can click on it to view the whole thing in GIGANTIC form if you'd like...
For more fun faces, head over to i Heart Faces!

Six Word Saturday: Daddy's Home!

2009-05-08T20:29:00.000-07:00

Reunited and it feels so good.

I Heart Faces, Constructive Feedback Friday

2009-05-07T13:04:00.001-07:00

HELP!! I'm a beginner and I often find my photos under or overexposed. I know that I need to work on getting the exposure right straight out of the camera, but when I don't, are there tricks for rescuing a photo that I've ruined? I don't know, but I hope the experts at i Heart Faces can provide the answer! They'll be dropping by today to offer tips for fixing my photo!

Below is a shot I took of Beauty several months ago on my Sony Cybershot. She has the cutest expression and I want to salvage this photo but don't know what to do with it, since it's so terribly composed and underexposed. I've tried two different crops, increased the exposure, upped the contrast and played with color and effects in Picnik. Nothing has worked. Maybe you all can do better. Thanks in advance for any advice, examples, tricks you can offer! Please feel free to leave some suggestions for what I could do in Photoshop or Elements since I often use GIMP which is similar enough that I can usually translate PS directions into GIMP tasks. Thank you.

The original: f/2.8; 1/25 sec; ISO 100; 9 mm (I know, I know. I needed a higher ISO and faster shutter speed. I took this the first day I ever put my camera in manal and didn't know what I was doing!)

Sepia:

Color Pop:

(At the last minute, just before linking up, I changed the photo I wanted help with. The first few comments are from regular readers who saw the first photo I posted. Thanks)

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Fashion Show

2009-05-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

"WHAT THE %@#*?!"

That's the first thing my husband said when I emailed him these photos. The next thing he said was, "Some things just aren't funny."

Well, duh. Like train wrecks. Or cancer. But this? This is stinkin' hilarious.

The little Beast begged and begged to play with the girls. Cried and whined because they excluded him.

Finally, they got tired of listening to his complaints, and let him in on the fun.

Let that be a lesson to you, Beast. Be careful what you wish (or whine) for.

*The blondie (you know, the one with the underwear on her head) is our very own Ms. Smartypants, a cousin, and the adorable little brown bear is a family friend.

**I apologize for the poor quality of these photos. I suck. I also had the wrong settings on my stupid camera. For much better photos, head over to SevEn CLoWn CirCuS for Wordful Wednesday.

i Heart {Hats} and Faces

2009-05-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

This week's theme over at i Heart Faces is hats. My kids entry is a recent shot of Beauty in her cupcake hat and rainbow-colored tutu. This was the day after she started crawling and she did NOT want to sit still and have her picture taken!

And my adult entry is hubby and the little Beast in their sun hats during our family vacation last July. (stupid Blogger cuts off the edge of the picture if I resize it bigger, grrr...)

Please feel free to offer constructive criticism of my photos; your feedback helps me improve, thanks! And despite tons of online research and 2 hours playing with cameras at Best Buy, I'm still using my point and shoot. If you have an affordable, quality dSLR recommendation for a beginner, please leave that advice in your comments too!

To view more people in hats, head over to i Heart Faces.

I Heart Seattle Giveaway! Super. Awesome.

2009-05-02T21:37:00.000-07:00

Okay everyone - get ready for a super awesome giveaway!

You noticed my spankin' new blog design, yes? Isn't it BEE-YOO-TIFUL?! Heather at Adventures of Aidanpod gave me a makeover and since she's a local girl - and since I'm celebrating my husband's return home to Seattle after five months stuck in dreary Oklahoma (no offense ~~Oklahomians~~ ~~Oklahomites~~ rednecks) - I am giving away a basketful of my favorite "Made In Seattle" goodies, a prize worth more than $70!!!

This prize includes the following so far (though I keep adding to it as I discover more "Made in Seattle" things I love. Hmmmm.... I wonder if the little Beast would fit in that box. Although, technically, he was "made" in California while we were on vacation. What?! TMI?)

Seattle's Best Coffee, Ground, Anniversary Blend

Starbucks Coffee, Ground, Colombia Medium

Starbucks Mocha Dark Chocolate bar

6 bliss-inducing Seattle Chocolates truffle bars (including my very favorite candy of all time - the Coconut Macaroon Truffle Bar - as well as other flavors like Pike Place Espresso, Rainier Cherry and Meltaway Mint.)

Cougar Mountain Original Chocolate Chunk Cookies

Copper River Sockeye Smoked Salmon from Anacortes, WA

Tim's Cascade Jalapeno Seasoned Potato Chips (so delicious that I already ate the bag from the photo above!)

Chocolate Caramel Kettle Corn (yummy. No, I've never eaten an entire bag by myself in one sitting, I swear!)

Seattle Magazine. (The place I work is featured in the latest issue - I took the photo and wrote the ad copy myself. If you win, I'll tell you which one is mine)

Sunset Magazine. (I think it's actually published in San Francisco, but there is a lot of information on Seattle and its suburbs!)

Washington State stationery, playing cards, and postcards.

A copy of Just Breathe, the latest book from Susan Wiggs. (Fantastic novelist who just happens to be from the Seattle area.)

See, I told you. Super. Awesome. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post telling me one thing you think you know, or like, about Seattle. If you can't think of anything, tell me something you like about my new blog - I love compliments!

To earn extra entries, do any or all of the following. Be sure to leave a separate comment for each as that counts as your extra entry:

1. Follow my blog.
2. Visit Heather over at Adventures in Aidanpod and tell her what a great job she did designing my new blog. And be sure to mention her adorable Aidanpod too!
3. Blog about this contest on your own site with a linkback here. Then leave the url of that post in your comment.
4. Fave me on technorati (click the words "add to technorati" at the bottom of this post. Then leave your technorati username in your comment here).

The contest will run until Saturday, May 16th at midnight Seattle time. A winner will be chosen randomly by the random.org widget. Only residents of the US are eligible to win this prize. If you don't live in the States, you can still enter to win, but I'll send you a prize that costs much less to ship, LOL!

Thanks for playing, and best of luck to you all!

SWS: Uh-Oh!

2009-05-02T07:36:00.000-07:00

Watch out! Look who's started crawling!

Or:

Can I keep up with two?!

Casualties of Naptime War

2009-04-30T14:42:00.000-07:00

Naptime for the little Beast is always a struggle. Some days he falls asleep after a short round of whining and resistance. Other days, we fight it out for hours -with me usually ending up the loser. I just don't have the skills or energy to counter and defeat the litte Beast's guerilla tactics. I "lock" him in his room, he screams, kicks the walls and door, and totally destroys his bedroom. Here are some photos to illustrate just how outmatched I am in this battle:

Yes, he's crying. Because he got scolded. But you'll stop feeling sorry for him by the end of this post, I promise...

Had enough?! Me too, but the little Beast is not done yet!

Just look at that smug little smirk on his face! He knows he's winning!

Dude. You're three feet tall. How did you manage to mess up the curtains?!?!

And last but not least - The Great Diaper Disaster:

(Check out the full story of this photo - and my favorite naptime mess EVER - at this previous post.)

Anyway, these are just the battles I have photos of. I could bore you for hours with my naptime war stories, like the time the little Beast took off his own dirty diaper and used its contents to redecorate his bedroom. Ugh! Lately he's been escalating his offensive and I think it's probably about time I waved the white flag of surrender. But, boy, does it ever rankle being bested by a two year old! Grrrr...

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

i Heart Faces - What The %@*#?! Wednesday

2009-04-29T01:18:00.000-07:00

Wait, what the %@*# day is it?! Wednesday? Crap. I totally missed this week's i Heart Faces contest. Shoot. It was reflection week, and I had this photo set aside from our trip to the beach a couple weeks ago. It's Beauty's first encounter with sand and sea...

I'm {NOT} Back & Taking Care of Business

2009-04-27T08:38:00.000-07:00

Hello again blogosphere!!! Oh, how I missed you. I'm back just in time for Not Me! Monday so let's get started...

I am NOT super neurotic and paranoid about being home alone at night. That is NOT the reason I've kept it quiet that I've been living alone with the kids for the past 5 months. My husband has NOT actually been away since December at a training academy for his new job as an air traffic controller.

My recent blog refriction was NOT a last-ditch attempt to catch up on household chores (wash the car, make room in the closet, bathe the dirty kids, etc) in order to convince my husband that I spent our five months apart responsibly caring for our children and home. I did NOT actually spend most of his time away parked on my fat butt in front of the computer blogging.

I am NOT secretly kind of sad that hubby is coming home in a few days because I am NOT disappointed that I'll have to spend my evenings with a flesh-and-blood person instead of with you, my pretend Internet friend.

I will NOT be having a huge giveaway in a few days to celebrate my husband's homecoming, and inside will NOT actually be celebrating mostly because I'll finally have some much-needed help with laundry, dishes, bathtime and bedtime! No, really honey, I missed your cover-hogging and snoring, and my excitement to have you home is all about you and NOT just about having someone to share the load with!__________________________________________________________________________________________
Taking care of business in my real life made me realize I need to do a little blog housekeeping too. First, I've been meaning to post the pictures of all the items I donated on your behalf to Operation Homefront. You left me 161 comments, and here are the 161 items sent in care packages to our hardworking soldiers.

Also, I have been collecting (hoarding) awards for the last couple of months and I think it's about time I bestowed some! First let me say how grateful I am that so many of you visit and comment on my blog regularly. I am thrilled that anyone reads it, let alone likes it! Thank you! Please let me take a minute to recognize my most loyal commenters and active followers.

I hereby bequeath this Super Follower award to these bloggers for following me, but also for their frequent comments and exceptional support of Two Under Two. Whew! Thank you! (You can right click the award and save to your computer if you'd like to post it on your own blog.)
Stefanie of Lexie Loo & Dylan Too
Alicia of More Than Words
Alicia of My Three Bs and Me
Kameron of A Wrinkle in Time
Alexia of The Mommy Rambles
Mighty M
Christina of Rant-Rave-Roll
Sally of Sally’s World
Heather at Sugar and Spice Mostly Nice
Susie of Susie’s Homemade
BlogBaby
Kelly of Two Kids, A Minivan and A Lot of Love
Brooke at Dinkypops No More
Shelli at I'm Too Busy To Blink And I Need A Pedicure
Courtney and the Boys
Keri at Life of Logan
Megan of Infertile Myrtle
Tim of Fort Thompson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim of Fort Thompson and Heather of But I Don't Want To Be A Cowboy awarded me with this I'm A Fan Of Your Site award, (what a coincidence, I'm a fan of their sites too!) so I'm paying it forward to a few of my favorite blogs. If you're listed anywhere in either of my sidebars, I'm a huge fan of your site! (Email me at cari_berry@hotmail.com for the award's HTML code so you can post it in your sidebar - or just right click and save it to your computer!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I also received this Sisterhood Award from Brenda Lea of The Purple Lady's Art and Life. (Thanks Brenda Lea!) I'm passing it on to some "sisters" in the bloggy world that inspire me, impress me, and entertain me. These women also deserve my Loyal Followers award above, so go ahead girls, take it!(Right click the image to save it to your computer, then upload it to your own blog if you'd like!)
Lolli of Life is Sweet
Melinda of Bloggin it from the Burbs
Heather at But I Don't Want To Be A Cowboy
Maryanne at Thrifty Craft Mama
Heather at Adventures of Aidanpod
Rachel of Once Upon A Miracle
Elaine at Matters of the Heart
Rhiann at Through the Garden Gates (my real-life BFF)
Heather at Lack Therof (my real-life sister who just joined the bloggy world a few days ago! Please stop by and welcome her.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most recently, sweet Maryanne of Thrifty Craft Mama gave me the “Premio Dardos” award for "bloggers who distinguish themselves for showing cultural values, ethics, great and fun writing skills, as well as individual values, through their creative writing." This is the second award Maryanne has given me, and she is both a loyal follower and frequent commenter on my blog, so I want to take a moment to give her a special shoutout! Thank you so much MaryAnne. You've been with me since the beginning, and I really appreciate you!

Thrifty Craft Mama is a blog focused on affordable craft and activity ideas for children. Maryanne is a creative and fantastic mommy of two (soon to be three!!!) with awesomely inspiring ideas that you absolutely MUST try with your own kids. If you haven't already, stop by and say hi, and pick up some tips for new and fun ways to connect with your kids.

That about covers it for housekeeping. Thanks for putting up with it, and with my recent blog refriction. Please be aware that Heather at Adventures of Aidanpod is doing some behind the scenes housekeeping - actually a full remodel! - of my blog. There is going to be a new look - and new title here at Two Under Two. Whew! very soon! So stay tuned for that!

On Refriction

2009-04-20T14:27:00.000-07:00

When my cousin Scott was about 4 years old, he got into trouble for crossing the street to visit the neighbor girl without permission. As punishment, his parents put him on restriction from playing with the neighbors for the rest of the day. A little while after the law was laid down, his neighborhood playmate came outside and yelled across the road for him to come over and play. He hollered back:

"I can't, I'm on refriction."

"I don't know what it is, but I'm on it!"

It's a classic story in our family, and it makes me laugh everytime I remember it. Scott was - and is - a funny guy. (Luckily, his fashion sense has improved since childhood):

What is my point? you ask.

Well, I am punishing myself with a temporary blog "refriction" for the next few days, so that I can get a handle on my real-life responsibilities. Oh, I'll still log on now and then to respond to your comments and visit my followers, but there will be no What the @%*#?! Wednesday or Photostory Friday this week.

While I'm away, feel free to browse my Best of Beauty and the little Beast collection, and of course, enter my A Work of Heart Giveaway for a chance - or five - to win a gorgeous piece of jewelry!

Take care and I'll see you around the blogosphere very soon!

A Work Of Heart Jewelry Giveaway

2009-04-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

My real-life BFF Gina recently opened her own Etsy shop called A Work of Heart.

Gina makes the most amazing hand-beaded and wire-wrapped jewelry; it's really unique stuff! She works with many materials but especially loves metal and freshwater pearls. She also likes to recycle old jewelry by incorporating it into her new works.

And she and her preschooler make jewelry for little ones that she sells on her site too!

Gina even customizes one-of-a-kind jewelry just for her clients. Here's what she has to say about customized jewelry at her website:

"Please let me know if there is a piece of jewelry that you like but would like in another color or if you would like for me to create something new as a gift. I can also do larger quantities of items for events. For example, if you are looking for just the right earring for a group that is going to be in your wedding, with your guidance, I can craft pieces that are as unique as your friends."

Now for the good news! My generous friend is giving away a piece of jewelry from her collection (YOUR CHOICE) up to $35.00 in value. All you have to do to enter is:

* Visit A Work of Heart at Etsy and look around. Come back here and leave a comment on this post telling me which piece of Gina's jewelry is your favorite. You MUST do this step to qualify.

You can earn extra entries by doing any or all of the following (Be sure to leave SEPARATE comments for each step you take since that counts as your entry):

1. Follow my blog. (Worth 1 extra entry)
2. Join my BlogFrog Community in my sidebar. (Worth 2 extra entries)
3. Blog about this contest with a link back here (Worth 2 extra entries)
4. Buy something from A Work of Heart (Worth 5 extra entries!!!)

Contest will end Saturday, May 2nd at midnight. Winner will be selected randomly by the random.org widget. Please be sure I can contact you via email or blog or I will have to choose another winner. Thanks and good luck!

I Heart {My} Faces

2009-04-20T00:08:00.001-07:00

This week's challenge at i Heart Faces is the hardest yet: Self-Portrait. Here are the rules:

"...you must take the photo and you must be holding the camera when you take it (you can’t use a tripod or anything else to hold the camera for you.)"

My adult entry, ("show us your face…and your face ONLY") is almost kid-free, except for the little Beast's arms and knee growing out of my head in the background. Bonus points I think for posting a photo of me when I'd just woken up - the light was just so lovely that morning (thank goodness for naturally flat hair and photo editing tools that helped me get rid of undereye circles!).

My kids entry is Beauty and me (yes, she's eating my lens cap) reflected in Ms. Smartypants' sunglasses. I looked over to tell her something and caught a glimpse of myself in her shades. I instantly thought, "i Heart Faces!!!!" This shot was great in theory, but leaves a bit to be desired upon execution. I wish I'd moved my mom and our picnic so they weren't reflected in the other sunglass lens. I wish I hadn't had to soften and clone out all the background distractions. Any other tips for how I might've improved it?

Funny Girl

2009-04-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

We spent the day at the beach yesterday with our 6-year old cousin, Ms. Smartypants. She said to me about the little Beast:

"He is getting so big. He comes up past my hip now. I think he comes all the way to my dominoes."

*scratching my head* Hmmmm... What in the world does she mean?

Dominoes.

Dominoes?

Dominoes!

Ahhhh.... abdominals.

Ha, ha, ha, ha. What a character!

Mamarrazzi Fave Things Swap

2009-04-19T09:07:00.001-07:00

Black Eye.

2009-04-16T23:23:00.001-07:00

You Should See The Other Guy.

Or:
He Ran Into A Door. Really.

Got Milk?

2009-04-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

The other day while driving in the car with his grandma, the little Beast spotted some cows standing in a muddy, flooded field, which led to an interesting conversation I'd love to share with you.

The little Beast said: "Those cows is standing in milk, gramma."

Grandma replied: "No, that's mud buddy. Cows don't stand in milk, they make it."

Beast: confused silence.

Grandma: "Do you know where milk comes from?"

Beast: "From my frigerator."

Grandma: "Yes, but where does mommy get the milk to put in the refrigerator?"

Beast: "From store!"

Grandma: "But where does the store get the milk?"

Beast: Thinks for a moment: "I don't know!"

Grandma: "From those cows on the farm!"

Beast: "Ooooo-oh."

Grandma: "And where does Beauty get her milk?"

Beast: "From mom's shirt!!"

Which reminds me of another story. When the little Beast was a baby, his then 4-year old cousin Ms. Smartypants, was fascinated with the concept of breastfeeding. She gave it a lot of thought. One day she announced to the family that she knew why women had two breasts:

One side for hot milk, and the other side for cold!

I love the way their cute little brains work. What are some of the funny things your kids have said?

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Week 8!

2009-04-14T18:10:00.001-07:00

Okay, so Spring is here which means warmer weather, flowers in bloom, and cleaning house, right?!

Not-so-much here. This morning, there was snow on the ground. Again. Ugh.

And the flowers are still middle-of-winter dead.

And as for Spring Cleaning: what would be the point? Because I live with the messiest human being, or perhaps even the messiest mammal, on Earth.
What the %@*#?!

Freshly unfolded laundry
Contents of my "to be filed" box
The little Beast's book collection, normally kept on a shelf
Previously unopened mail
Self-explanatory, I hope
And more fun with stamps and baby powder

Since I can't get any cleaning done, I'm giving away a box of goodies to help you get your cleaning done instead (includes spring washcloths and dish scrubber, fabric softener, dish soap, stain remover, dust cloths, air freshener and more!) To win, simply leave a comment on this post telling me you want them.

For extra entries, do one or all of the following (worth one entry each). Be sure to leave a separate comment for each thing you have done because that comment counts as your entry.

1. Follow my blog.
2. Be or become a member of my BlogFrog community (see lefthand sidebar).
3. Blog about this contest with a link back here.
4. Tweet and/or Facebook this contest, leaving the url in comments.

Contest ends at midnight on Saturday, April 18th. Winner will be chosen at random by random.org, and announced on Sunday (when my new giveaway begins!). Thanks for participating!

I Heart {Easter} Faces - Amateur Week

2009-04-13T21:32:00.000-07:00

Well, because my kids are little stinkers, and refused to cooperate both times I tried taking Easter portraits, I had a hard time finding anything worth entering this week. Fortunately, my mom managed to coax a smile out of Beauty in her Easter outfit and I snapped this one decent shot. You can view it bigger by clicking here.

I'm more a novice than an amateur, but I am learning so much each week at i Heart Faces! I would love any advice or feedback you could offer to help me improve my photos! Thanks for stopping by.

f/3.2
1/160 sec
ISO 400
Sony Cybershot DSCH50 (point-n-shoot)
Edited in Picnik

Fun in The Sun and Sand!

2009-04-11T00:53:00.001-07:00

Or:
Can't break or destroy anything here!

Winners! Play That Funky Music!

2009-04-10T22:21:00.000-07:00

Congratulations!!! These lucky people are about to get their groove on, NKOTB or Britney style!

Winner of the Britney Spears cd is:
Alicia of My Three Bs and Me. Her comment, number 4, said:
"Happy Birthday! I LOVE britney and so jealous your going to the concert you lucky girl you!! If I had to choose a CD it would have to be her!!"

Winner of the NKOTB cd is:
Jodi of Jodibee Designs. (She has her own very first giveaway going on at her blog. Check it out!)
Her comment, number 43 said
"I'm already a follower! Thanks for the giveaway!"

And because she ROCKED the comment love all week, and even blogged TWICE about my birthday, I'm giving my real-life friend Rhiann of Through the Garden Gates the NKOTB cd too! She earned it. If you haven't yet, check out her blog - she is one of the funniest people I know. Here are just some of the awesome comments she left this week:

"First off let me say that Ive put the call in and Joey is in the divorce process now so that he and I can make it legal and all!! Soooo please put me down for some New Kids on the Rhiann (i meant Block)."

""slippin and slidin on Christmas Eve. I saw a sight you just wouldnt believe. St. Nick by the fireplace, dusting off his beard with a frown on his face. He said "hey", I said "What", he said "You", I said "What", He said "Give Rhiann that CD or I'll kick your Butt" :)""

Congratulations Winners! Thanks to everyone who entered. I've got a new giveaway next week, so be sure to come back and enter to win some gorgeous, custom-made jewelry!

Britney Spears Circus Tour

2009-04-10T00:51:00.000-07:00

I celebrated my birthday last night at the Britney Spears Circus Tour in Tacoma, WA. The best birthday EVER! What an awesome show. I have to say though, Britney has lost a bit of her magic. She definitely lip-synched, and she didn't dance so much as she strutted around. It was, "sexy walk, sexy walk, strike a pose" all night. And she never walked the full length of the stage. Instead she was either carried by half-naked super-buff men, or rolled across stage in various wheeled devices like cages and couches. I did appreciate that she performed a lot of her clasics (Hit Me Baby One More Time, Slave 4 U) as well as all her latest radio hits. It really was a great show, with acrobats, jugglers and gymnasts entertaining during costume and set changes. There was never a dull moment. And the opening act - the Pussycat Dolls - were great too! Fantastic girls night out!

The Pussycat Dolls

Circus Acts

It's Britney B*@ch!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Constructive Feedback Friday

2009-04-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

My favorite blog, i Heart Faces, is trying a new feature: Constructive Feedback Friday. I would love some advice from the talented folks that hang out over there, so I'm posting this shot of Beauty. I had just started playing with natural light in this photo, but my house has very little of it, so the original was really dark.

I love the picture, but don't think it follows the "rules" of composition, etc. I also wonder if I over-sharpened and dodged the eyes? How could I have processed, cropped, edited it differently to improve the finished product? (I don't have photoshop!) Or, I'd love feedback on how to improve the SOOC shot too! Thanks for your advice!

My edited version using GIMP (Blogger cuts a little off the right side of photo, so you may want to view it on my Flickr Photostream):

Original SOOC:
f/3.2, 1/25 sec, ISO 100, 10 mm focal length, Sony DSC-H50 (Obviously should have bumped up the ISO, but even at 400 my camera produces so much noise, grrr...)

Happy Birthday To Me!

2009-04-08T23:37:00.000-07:00

Today is my birthday! What am I doing to celebrate? Going to see Britney Spears LIVE IN CONCERT!! (I hope she says or does something really crazy so I can blog about it here!) Since it's my birthday, and my blog, I get to indulge myself by sharing a few random facts about me.

1. I was NOT a cute baby. I had a mohawk. And really fat cheeks. Don't believe me? Scroll down for photographic proof!

2. I weighed 9 pounds, 1 ounce at birth. Wow.

3. I am 32 years old, but still feel 18, and often act 11.

4. My mom still cooks me a spaghetti dinner every year for my birthday. Perhaps part of why I still feel 18 and act 11.

5. I am giving away music from Britney Spears and New Kids on the Block! Click here to enter!

6. I have more than one tattoo.

7. I bite my nails.

8. I am terrified of spiders.

9. Pink is my favorite color.

10. I can't wink. Or whistle.

11. When I grow up I really want to be a librarian. Or florist. Or portrait photographer.

12. The smell of cooked broccoli makes me nauseous.

13. I collect Gone With The Wind Memorabilia.

14. I have a MAJOR crush on Ben Affleck.

15. I get motion sickness in the car or on a boat.

16. My second toe is longer than my big toe.

17. My shoe size is 7.5

18. I'm a bad dancer.

19. But I'm a really good speller.

20. I once went 20,000 miles without an oil change.

Be sure to check out the Birthday song dedicated to me by my real-life friend Rhiann of Through the Garden Gates!

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Easter Edition

2009-04-07T20:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, the sun finally came out, the snow melted and it actually felt like Spring in Seattle! So I painted a flower pot, dressed up the kids, grabbed some props and headed out to the backyard to snap some Easter portraits.

Nearly 300 frames later, I had not one single decent shot to show for all my hard work. What the %@*#?! Is it so much to ask that both kids just look at the camera at the same time for one split second without crying or making a stupid face?!?! I'm not even asking for a smile here, just anything without tears or tongues, sheesh! Couldja help a mutha out here, please? Grrrr....

Part Two: True. Tearless. Testimony.

2009-04-07T12:44:00.000-07:00

Last week, I posted the beginning of my testimony about how God changed my life last summer. I promised to continue my story this week and I will, but the little Beast returned last night from his first ever weekend away from home, so we're spending every waking minute catching up on our cuddles and quality time. We really missed one another. Anyway, here is a somewhat condensed version of the "conclusion" to the life-changing evidence of God's presence in my life.

On my way out of church after that powerful moment of prayer with the missionary preacher, a greeter at the door handed me a flier. It was an an advertisement for an upcoming event at the church. Their very first women’s seminar. Now you may remember from my previous post that I had been frantically searching for a women’s retreat online for weeks. All of the seminars and retreats I’d found were expensive and out-of-town, impossible for me to get to in the final stages of my pregnancy or first days with a newborn baby. Yet, suddenly, a women’s seminar was coming to my own town? At the very church I’d only just started to attend that day? And better yet, it was free? Do you have any doubt that this was God once again shouting at me that He was there, listening and answering my cries for help?!

The seminar took place just one month after little Beauty was born. I was hesitant to leave her for the day when she was so new, but I knew that God wanted me to be at that seminar. It was titled "Come Away My Beloved" after the title of a classic devotional text by Francis J. Roberts. It was billed as "A Time of Respite, Worship, Prayer and Fellowship," featuring beautiful worship music, Scripture, Excerpts from Roberts' text, prayer and devotional activities. It was a profound experience, and I grew exponentially in my relationship with God that day.

I want to tell you about the single most powerful moment of the day, a culmination of all the times that summer when God's hand was blatantly visible in my life. The seminar focused on learning to connect with God by paying attention for his cues, and listening to his voice. During the first break for private prayer and journaling, I wrote these exact words:

I want to listen to your voice but how do I know when I'm hearing it? I feel you working in my life and on my heart. I know you are answering my prayers and I am AMAZED at your power and your loving kindness. But I'm not always sure when it's YOU speaking to me. Is your voice my inner voice? Is that the Holy Spirit or my own conscience? Or does your voice come from outside? Do you speak to me through music, other people, sermons? I know you obviously speak to me through Your Word. But is your voice ever something I hear inside myself? Or is that "leaning on my own understanding"? Help me to recognize your voice God.

When we reconvened moments later, the seminar leader opened with the following passage from Come Away My Beloved by Frances J. Roberts (pg. 176):

"...when I come to you, I come via the very citadel of your soul - not as an intruder from the outside. It is as though a guest came to a home and entered the inner sanctum, rather than coming by way of the outer gate... I come to you via my Holy Spirit from the depths of your being that you have never plumbed, from chambers within your soul your eyes have never seen."

As she was reading, my body went hot all over. I was short of breath and overcome with tears. I should not have been surprised because God had been visibly working in my life for weeks, but this was an undeniable, direct, ANSWER to questions I had written down JUST MOMENTS BEFORE!!! I could not believe it.

Since that day, I have been a different person. The depression, anxiety, restlessness and fear are gone, replaced with serenity, contentment, trust and joy. I am still a work in progress, and I fail God more often than I please Him, I know. I lose patience daily with my husband and children. I curse other drivers on the road. Some Sundays, I choose to clean house instead of attend church. But I have a purpose, and that is to do God’s will on this Earth, and to be a reflection of His love to my fellow man. I am no longer stumbling blindly through my days, or living life accidentally and reactively. I have a plan, and that fills me with immeasurable, unshakable peace.

For those of you seeking peace, let me recap for you how I found it, though I am sure the path to contentment in Christ is different for each of us. Here are the steps that were necessary for my personal experience though.

1. Pray, and mean it. Pray desperately, fervently, pleadingly, honestly and not out of habit or rote.
2. Read the Scriptures. Everyday. With focus and critical thought, not just absently or shallowly.
3. Worship. Attend church, sing along to worship music, listen attentively to sermons.
4. Connect with others who share your attitude of improvement for support and encouragement. Share your story with others, it will help remind you of the power of the experience.

Thank you for taking the time to read my lengthy and serious post. I hope that you can take something from it that helps you in your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Oh, and while you're here, be sure to enter my current Play that Funky Music Giveaway!

A Jay and Deb Production.

I Heart {Friend-ly} Faces

2009-04-06T21:32:00.001-07:00

This week's contest at i Heart Faces is "My Friend and I". My entry is a recent portrait of two brothers who are very good friends to my little Beast, and to one another. They have an adorable sister too, but if I entered a shot of all three of them, I'd be breaking the rules, which say only 2 faces per picture this week!

For more photos of friends, click the button below to head over to i Heart Faces! But before you go, be sure to enter my "Play That Funky Music" Giveaway!

Not Me! Monday, Oh. Oh. Oh oh oh.

2009-04-06T00:01:00.000-07:00

Please continue to pray for MckMama and baby Stellan, still battling SVT in the Minneapolis Children's Hospital...

I did not stand in line for over an hour this weekend at the local box office to buy tickets to the New Kids on the Block tour. I swear I do not still know the words to almost all of their songs, or any of the dance moves to "The Right Stuff."

Growing up, I did not Hang Tough with the New Kids, nor did I follow their career Step-by-Step. I never longed to be their Cover Girl and I won't be Loving Them Forever either.

I certainly was not out-of-my-mind crazy for Jordan Knight and the boys. I did not have every square inch of wall and ceiling space in my bedroom plastered with posters of the Boston Five, and I did not plant good night kisses on the glossy images of Joey or Jordan before falling asleep every night.

I also did not own NKOTB t-shirts, sweatshirts, bedding, telephones, wall clocks, watches, buttons, wallets, lunchboxes or dolls. I did not stay up all night before their concerts making giant, glitter-covered posters declaring my love for them, then get so overcome with emotion at the first chord of their first song that I couldn't hold my own weight up, let alone my monstrous cardboard sign.

I will not be posting embarrassing photos of me with aforementioned signs later this week. Please do not come back to laugh at my mouth-full of braces, cheesy vest and stirrup pants, or bad orphan-Annie perm. (If you just can't wait to start making fun of me, check out these photos of me as a teen, posted by my real-life friend forever Rhiann)

I am not so excited about the upcoming concert that I am not giving away a copy of their newest cd, The Block.

Well, actually I am. And if you want to enter, I won't tell anyone. Just click here to go to the super secret contest post!

Play that Funky Music Giveaway

2009-04-05T23:42:00.000-07:00

It's my birthday this week - woot woot - and to celebrate my gal pal is taking me to see Britney Spears live in concert on Thursday.

And to console myself for turning the big 3-2, I also bought a pair of tickets to the upcoming New Kids on the Block show in my hometown, because nothing screams "young" like a reunited washed-up boy band whose hits I once listened to on cassette tape!

Anyhoo, in honor of my two big birthday celebrations, I'm giving away a copy of both Britney's new Circus cd, and NKOTB's new The Block cd. To enter, just leave a comment on this post specifying which cd you'd prefer to win if your comment number is randomly selected.

To earn extra entries:

1. Blog about this contest on your own website with a link back here (be sure to come back and leave a separate comment here with the url to your post!)

2. Join my BlogFrog community, and leave a separate comment here telling me you've done so (or already are!).

3. Become a follower of my blog and leave me a separate comment telling me you've done so (or already are!).

Contest ends Friday night at midnight. Two winners (one for each cd) will be selected by random.org and notified by email and/or comment on his/her blog. Please make sure I can reach you in one of those two ways, or I will select another winner. Thank you for participating in my birthday giveaway!

Six Word Saturday

2009-04-03T18:07:00.000-07:00

Permanent Marker Is Hard To Remove

or

Anyone Want To Adopt My Toddler?

i Heart Faces Giveaway with the Little Beast!

2009-04-02T11:31:00.000-07:00

Hi all! Just had to tell you that iCanvas is giving one lucky winner a 12 x 18 gallery wrapped canvas worth $75 over at i Heart Faces right now. And even more importantly, they are featuring my very own little Beast in a Photoshop tutorial on changing colors in your photos. Head over here to enter the giveaway, and check out what creative things Amy has done with the little Beast's picture!

And speaking of the little Beast, he is this very moment midair on his first airplane ride, taking a weekend vacation with his Grandpa Dave. We had to get him up at 4:30 a.m. to make the flight! He's never been away from home overnight, so I'm a little anxious about the trip! He's only been gone 6 hours and I already miss him, but it will be nice to have a few days without anyone decorating the furniture or the baby with ink, or dumping baby powder all over, or putting his porkchop feet on everything, or... well, you get the idea...

Thank You For Supporting Our Troops! Winners Here!

2009-03-31T23:55:00.000-07:00

Thank you to everyone who participated in my Support the Troops giveaway! I received 161 comments on the giveaway post, which means I will be donating 161 care package items and 161 cards to Operation Homefront for our soldiers stationed overseas. Thanks for making my giveaway a total success! I was so touched by your personal stories of loved ones serving, or who had served, in the military. Thank you for sharing them with me. I have added all the active duty men and women mentioned in your comments to my prayer list!

There were 194 entries to win the two gift baskets I'm giving away, since everyone who entered by March 26th received an extra entry. The two winners selected by random.org were #105 Lisa of Military Momz (how appropriate!) and #53 Brenda Lea of The Purple Lady's Art For Your Body & Home. Congratulations ladies! Please contact me at cari_berry@hotmail.com with your mailing address so that I can mail your care packages to you!

I wish it was within my means to give every single one of you a prize! I do have a new giveaway starting on April 5th, so be sure to check back then and enter to win a great prize!

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Week 6

2009-03-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

The other day, I came downstairs after nursing Beauty to sleep and found the little Beast crouched on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. He had his back to me, and was looking wide-eyed over his shoulder at me, trying to appear innocent and inconspicuous. I instantly demanded to know what he was up to, and approached him to find the item below possesively clutched to his chest.

That is a bottle of Spiderman gummy vitamins. With a child proof, twist-to-unlock lid. And yes, it is empty. Because he ate them. All of them.

What the @%*#?! Is the little Beast some kind of evil genius? Do you know how much intense concentration and coordination it must have taken for him to pull off such a feat?! First he had to climb his way to the countertop by wrapping his freaky monkey toes around these tiny knobs. Ouch!

Then he had to stand on that ice-cold granite slab barefoot and streeeeetch to reach the bottle of vitamins on the top shelf of this cupboard, without toppling over and crashing to the ground.

Then, he had to figure out how to outsmart the childproof cap and devour the dozen remaining vitamins, all without making enough noise to alarm me. And he had to accomplish this in a matter of minutes before I could return and foil his plot. If we could just teach our precocious child to use his superpowers for good instead of evil, I believe he may be capable of single-handedly resolving the economic crisis or bringing peace to the Middle East. But, alas, I fear he finds troublemaking more fun than peacemaking...

For better and more fun What the @%*#?! Wednesday posts, visit here, here, here or here!

Testimony: True. Tearless. Tribute.

2009-03-30T23:27:00.000-07:00

I usually try to keep my blog posts fun, humorous and short, so if that’s what you came anticipating today, I apologize for throwing you a curve ball, but I think if you stick around you will get more than you were expecting from me.

In recent weeks I have had guilt on my heart for allowing my blog to distract me from more important life tasks, so I have been praying that blogging would become an edifying experience for me, and that God might use my blog in an authentic and natural way to bring glory to Himself. Several things have happened in past days that lead me to believe now is the right time for a serious attempt to do so.

Yesterday, I read an amazing post by Angie over at Bring the Rain about how her current intimate relationship with God was formed. You should all take a moment to read it, as it is one of the most beautifully written pieces I've ever read, and I was an English major and English teacher once upon a time so I've read a lot. Angie's post spoke so loudly and directly to my heart that I have been inspired to share my own testimony about how God recently changed my heart and my life forever.

Last summer, I went through what I call a Spiritual Crisis. It was a depression actually. I was expecting a second baby and was terrified about how I’d manage to be a successful mother to two kids under two. I felt like my life was without purpose or direction; that I was stumbling through it accidentally when what I really wanted was to live - and parent - with intention. I needed a stronger relationship with my God. I did not want to be lukewarm, or distracted, or worldly. I wanted my love for Christ and commitment to his commandments to be like a fire within me, overpowering my sin nature and the temptations of this world with its intensity. I wanted my every action to be motivated by love for Christ, and I wanted to be an example of Christ-centeredness for my children.

I began desperately and frantically searching for the right book that would tell me how to achieve this, or for a Christian women’s seminar that would light this fire in me, teach me how to be a woman of Christ. I cried, and prayed, and Googled until all hours of the night for days on end. And then an epiphany dawned, not suddenly like the proverbial light bulb going on, but slowly, layer by sweet layer, God’s truth unfolded itself for me. I was making this so much harder than it was. I did not need a book, or seminar, or song, or person to teach me how to follow Christ. All I needed was prayer and God’s written word. How simple! In Angie's words, what I needed to do was "Disregard the manuals and pick up the brush."

So I began to pray and read the Bible regularly. I set aside time every morning and evening for devotionals. I would bring my failures and fears and weaknesses and wants to God, and I would beg for him to fix me. I would plead with him to show me what to do. And the most amazing thing happened. Everytime I finished praying, then opened the Bible to a random place, the Scripture that was before me was a direct answer to a question or worry weighing on my heart! And those answers began to change me, though I was still struggling with how to become the person I wanted to be. Part of me was still looking for that one perfect book, or person, or seminar that would do the work for me.

At this time, I was also feeling a burning need to go back to church (we had let sleeping in, running errands, home improvements keep us from church for months). For several weeks worth of Sundays, I ignored the need for a morning of worship in favor of doing other less important things. But one Sunday, I could not quiet the desire, so ended up at church in spite of the million other things we had planned for ourselves that day. That particular Sunday, there was a guest speaker, a missionary from Africa coming home to report on his experiences in Senegal. His sermon was titled, “Finding Your Way Through the Fog,” and started with this verse:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5

And there it was again. So simple. The direct answer to my most fervent prayer. How?

Trust the Lord
Lean not on your own understanding
Acknowledge him in all your ways

I connected to that sermon more powerfully and intensely than I had to anything I’d ever heard in my life before. I was beyond moved; lifted up. It was as though that man was speaking directly to me. And I thought to myself, “Maybe he is.” In fact, maybe God was speaking to me through this man. This was a shocking idea to me. Though I’d casually believed in Christ as the Lord all my life, I didn’t believe that God still spoke to people, or performed miracles, or really showed himself present in the lives of us mortals at all. But every time I prayed for direction through the Scripture, a perfect set of verses presented itself when I opened my Bible. And when I didn’t want to go to church, an irresistible need to go drove me there. On the exact day that a man preached about how to find my way out of the fog of depression and inertia I’d been lost in.

And that’s not all. After the sermon, the missionary said, “If you are feeling lost in the fog, please do not leave here today without coming forward to speak to me, and letting me pray with you.”

I started to leave, then stopped mid-step and considered turning back and going to him. I had never, ever gone to the front of church to speak to the preacher in my entire life. I liked being anonymous, filing out and disappearing among the crowd without anyone even knowing I had been there. I was certainly not going up there today, when I didn’t even know what I’d say to the man, who was a perfect stranger, for crying out loud. I started to leave again, then stopped. I was in the midst of internal struggle. I kept hearing his words again in my head, “do not leave without speaking to me”. But I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want other people to see me going up there. And I didn’t know what to say once I was before this obvious Saint of a believer. In the end, my feet carried me to the front of the church against my head’s wishes.

When I got there, to my complete and utter humiliation, I burst into tears. I was crying so hard I could not even tell the man why I was standing there. I could only choke out an embarrassed apology. Try as hard as I might, I could not curb the tears, and could not find my voice. He said to me, “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything, but would you allow me to pray for you?” No one had ever prayed for me before as far as I knew. I nodded my head yes, and he put his hands on my shoulders, then bowed his head. I bowed mine too, my shoulders still shaking with sobs. And when he began to pray, I was washed with amazement because his prayer was exactly what my heart would’ve prayed had it been able to speak directly to God without my clumsy words and thoughts getting in the way. I had not said anything to this stranger, but somehow he knew exactly what to ask God on my behalf. Again, I was struck by the thought that God must be at work here, helping small, broken, unworthy, little me.

I left feeling hollowed out, in a good way. Emptied of all the weights I had been carrying in the pit of my stomach. God had washed me clean somehow that day, and left a blank canvas that He could paint His will on.

For weeks after that day, God continued to work visible miracles in my life, even more astonishing than anything I've shared in this post. I want to tell you about those, too, but this post has gotten so long, and it matters deeply to me that you witness all the evidence of God's grace, power and mercy that I can present. So I will finish my testimony next Tuesday, if you all would be kind enough to join me again then. Thank you.

To Be Continued...

A Jay and Deb Production.

I Heart {Pouting} Faces

2009-03-30T10:38:00.001-07:00

This week's theme over at i Heart Faces is Pouting. I had such a hard time deciding which picture to use. After getting feedback from family and friends, this shot of the little Beast came out on top. I LOVE this photo. We were at a friend's house and they had just mowed the grass on their beautiful property. The morning dew made the grass clippings stick to the little Beast's feet, which he HATED. This photo makes me laugh everytime I look at it. Enjoy!

Not Me! Monday Part 4

2009-03-29T19:41:00.000-07:00

It is a new week, and time for another Not Me! Monday, where I confess to the stupid-mommy blunders I did not commit last week. This week, Natalie at the Cline Family Blog has taken over for MckMama, and asked us all to dedicate our Not Me! Monday posts to baby Stellan. Since I have not been praying continually for him, or refreshing MckMama's blog every 20 minutes daily, I will not be happy to write this post in Stellan's honor.

Precious Stellan, may you recover fully and grow into an ornery two-year old just like the little Beast who gives me so much fodder for Monday's weekly posts! For updates on Stellan's heart condition, click on the button below to visit MckMama's blog.

It was NOT me who let Beauty fall asleep on my bed, then left her there alone while I watched LOST downstairs. It was not me that moments later heard, THUD! "Whaa-aaaa-aaaa!" and ran upstairs to find Beauty lying on the ground extremely ticked off. Ooops...

This same baby girl did not throw up her Rotavirus vaccine all over the poor nurse at our pediatrician's office this week. And it was not the very same nurse who got showered with the little Beast's vomit just a week before. Ewwww! I'm pretty sure that we're actually not that nurse's favorite family of patients right now.

Thankfully, I'm always really organized and prepared, so I did not forget to put an extra change of clothes for Beauty in the diaper bag for this appointment, so she did not have to go home in wet, vomit-soaked clothes.

I did not think to myself while leaving the doctor's office with my not-puke covered kid that I kind of like the smell of Beauty's throw-up. Nope, that would be really weird and gross, so I definitely did not have that thought. If I ever did have a wacky thought like that, I certainly would not admit it to the entire blogosphere by posting it here.

It was not my other child who gagged on sour milk after drinking from a sippy cup he found laying under his bed. There is absolutely no way I would let a dirty sippy cup sit around unwashed for days at a time. Gross.

Speaking of unwashed, It was not me that sprinkled my head with baby powder before running errands in order to hide some of the nastiness that did not occur after I didn't get a chance to wash my hair for two days straight. Ewwww!

And since we're discussing baby powder, please allow me to share this gem of a photo with you.

Nope, the little Beast did not climb up and find a bottle of baby powder in my medicine cabinet, then proceed to shake the thing until it was completely empty, and every square inch of my bathroom was covered in a fine white dust. I did not contemplate wringing his scrawny neck for a minute, and we are not all still coughing and choking on baby powder dust. Grrrrr....

That's really all I can think of, though I'm sure I have many more moments of mommy failure I could share with you all. While you're here, please make sure to enter my Support Our Troops Giveaway by leaving a comment at the contest post!

Favorite Things Swap!

2009-03-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

Kati of Country Girl, City Life (Formerly Known As Backwoods Down-Home Barbie) is hosting her first "Swap" giveaway, where you give a few of your favorite things and get a few of their favorites in return. Participating makes me feel a little bit like Oprah, without the giant bank account and ridiculous ego!

Really though, I am so excited to get to share with another blogger the things I love most in this world (well, okay, maybe not what I love most. Although I have once or twice considered mailing the little Beast to live with another family until he outgrows the terrible twos!)

If you want to get in on the fun, just click the button at the top of this post for all the details!

And speaking of favorite things, I just won these awesome cards from Kelli of The Oxborough Family blog, who recently started her own stationery line at Your Life Long Memories. Go check out her supercute invites, announcements, cards and scrapbook layouts!

GIVEAWAY UPDATE

2009-03-26T17:48:00.000-07:00

UPDATE:
My Support-Our-Troops Giveaway has been extended until Tuesday, 3/31 to collect more comments for our servicemembers!

AND I'm adding a second smaller care package prize so there will be TWO winners for this giveaway!

Everyone who entered by the original deadline of 3/26 will earn an extra entry for these great gift basket prizes!

To enter, simply leave a comment at THE ORIGINAL CONTEST POST telling me why and/or how you choose to support members of the U.S. Military and their families.

Please spread the word fellow patriots! Thanks so much! Good luck.

UBP '09: Better Late Than Never

2009-03-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

The Ultimate Blog Party 2009 has been underway all week, and I'm suddenly in the mood for a party! So, even though it all ends tomorrow at Midnight, I'm joining the fun! If you're stopping by to visit me for the first time from 5 Minutes For Mom, welcome and thanks! I'm a stay-at-home mom to two under two, a job full of blog-perfect catastrophes. My website is the place where I like to share my laugh-or-I'll-cry moments of mommy failure with you, my pretend Internet friends!

My favorite links are posted in the sidebar to your left under "Best of Beauty and the Beast". Or my What the %@*#?! Wednesday feature is always good for a chuckle.

I'm also hosting a SUPPORT OUR TROOPS GIVEAWAY, just leave a comment on that post and you're entered to win a care package full of awesome goodies!

There are tons of great giveaways over at The Ultimate Blog Party headquarters. I'm personally hoping to win one of these:

19 — $50 gift certificate to Target Stores Provided by: Shoot-Me-Now
21 — $50 gift certificate to Target Stores Provided by: Agoosa - Funny Name, Sound Advice
22 — $50 gift certificate to Target Stores Provided by: Beginner Baby Blog
58 – Kitchen Aid Artisan Stand Mixer Provided by: Moms Who Think

Or any of these giftcards for that matter: #26, USC56, #91, #118, #123, USC47, USC15, #77, #86 and of course #1 - $100 gift certificate to either Pedal Cars and Retro or A Rocking Horse To Love from 5 Minutes for Mom (what great photo props these would make!)

Thanks for stopping by, and I'll see ya around the blogosphere!

Reflection

2009-03-26T00:45:00.000-07:00

For more pictures of "reflection" visit I Should Be Folding Laundry for You Capture: Week 5! And don't forget to enter my Support Our Troops giveaway for your chance to win an awesome care package for yourself!

Here. Put this on.

2009-03-25T00:52:00.000-07:00

Hubby and I have a pretty typical courtship story. We met in English class at our local community college in 2002. I sat down next to him in my supercute red skirt and brand new knee-high boots, but he barely looked at me. Of course, I was instantly attracted to his indifference, and his appeal increased exponentially when I realized that the boy was wicked-smart. Luckily, he warmed up to me quickly and we developed a witty and sarcastic rapport, then a playful rivalry when we discovered we were competing for the top grade in our class. (I beat him by one-tenth of a point, and yes, I'm still gloating seven years later! ;P)

I began to woo him by passive-aggressively inviting everyone in class out for drinks and appetizers just to have an excuse to see him outside of Creative Writing 101. He courted me by mocking my new tattoo and writing me a poem on the dangers of drinking and driving, which included gruesome references to human brain matter being scraped off wet pavement. (I know, I know, who wouldn't fall head over heels with sweet talk like that?) Eventually we managed to stumble our way onto an actual date, and five months later we were engaged. How did that happen, you ask? Please, prepare yourself to be overcome with emotion at the sheer romance of hubby's proposal...

We were driving to the movies one rainy night in his grandparents borrowed pickup truck. Without taking his eyes off the road, he pulled a ring out of his jacket pocket and thrust it at me. Then ~~he poured out heartfelt declarations of his undying love~~ he said, "Here. Put this on."

And I did.

Yep, that's it. The big romantic story of how our life together began. I keep telling him he owes me a real, down-on-one-knee, champagne-at-sunset proposal, but after 5 years, I've quit holding my breath that it's ever going to happen. Besides, he's given me two of the world's most precious children, and nothing else he has to offer can ever top that!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

What the %@*#?! Wednesday Again

2009-03-24T22:24:00.001-07:00

Ahem. My dear little Beast. Could you tear your eyes away from that cartoon for a moment? This may come as a surprise to you, but your baby sister is a human being. And decidedly

Not.

A.

Chair.

Not to mention that you outweigh her by about 20 pounds.

So, would you kindly find a new seat?

But wait! First let me snap a crooked, blurry, cluttered picture. (I'm sure it's not the least bit confusing that I'm telling you to move and stay put at the same time.)

Why, yes, reader, that is exactly the calm manner in which I addressed the little Beast when I walked in on him using Beauty as a makeshift stool. I certainly did not raise my voice or make idle threats. Oh, and please don't worry your pretty little head about our Beauty, as she wasn't bothered in the least at being crushed underneath her big brother. In fact, she actually had the nerve to smile and laugh while he tortured her this way. What the %@*#?!

Before you go, don't forget to check out my Support Our Troops Giveaway, for a chance or two to win an awesome care package!

Not Me! Monday Postponed

2009-03-23T20:56:00.001-07:00

I interrupt our regularly scheduled Not Me! Monday post to bring you this urgent prayer request on behalf of MckMama, creator of Not Me! Monday. Her youngest child, a baby nearly the same age as my Beauty, is in a serious health crisis and needs our help! In the words of Tim from Fort Thompson:

"I need all of the Prayer Soldiers to please join me in prayer.

Stellan who is the son of Jennifer which most of you know as MckMama is in the ICU with SVT which is an irregularly high heartbeat. This is the same thing he was diagnosed with in the womb, which doctors said he could not survive. They said he would for sure die in the womb.

Well with tons of prayer God performed a miracle in this child and he was born totally healthy, and he was indeed very much alive!

Now they need our prayers again. You can read more details on his status by clicking here.

This is my NOT Me Monday post. It will NOT BE ME that doesn't pray for this baby and his family. Make sure that it is NOT you that doesn't pray either.""

So please do as Tim asks, and lift little Stellan up in prayer! Thank you.

I Heart {Flash-Less} Faces

2009-03-23T00:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks for stopping by, and *HEY WHILE YOU'RE HERE, be sure to ENTER MY FABULOUS "Support Our Troops" GIVEAWAY*!

This week's i Heart Faces theme is "No Flash". When I got serious about my photos a few months ago, the first valuable piece of advice I received was to turn off my flash. Even though my point-and-shoot performs terribly in low light, I took that advice and haven't used my flash since that day. The picture I'm entering for this contest was taken near an East-facing window, just days after I turned off my flash for good. I love the clarity of Beauty's skin, the amazing catchlights in her eyes, and her hint of amused smile. This is easily one of my faves of all the photos I've ever taken.

For more gorgeous no-flash photos, head over to i Heart Faces and browse the other contestants' entries!

The Support-Our-Troops Giveaway!

2009-03-21T20:50:00.000-07:00

Here is your chance to enter a contest that not only might win you a great prize, but will also benefit our hardworking, life-risking soldiers fighting overseas, like the one pictured in this wonderful homecoming photo by Karyn. Karyn Kuniyuki is a photography graduate of RIT, in New York, and the University of Arizona, in Tucson. She is the owner of Photos By Karyn in Central Texas, a family and child portrait photography business. She lives and works where the Army orders. A proud officer's wife and mother of two boys, she has survived overseas tours, an overseas birth, and raising little ones as a single parent during two Iraq deployments. She lives and loves military life and familes!

Like Karyn, I am a big supporter of our military members and their families, and I want you to join with me in letting them know how grateful we are for their service. Many of these brave men and women are serving out their second and third deployments in war zones, away from the comfort of family and safety of home. They are often lonely, homesick, even depressed. Some don't receive mail or phone calls from anyone at home. How can you help, you ask?

All you have to do is leave a comment on this post telling me why you support military personnel and their families, and I will donate a card and one comfort item (candy, beef jerky, coffee, gum, bug spray, batteries, cough drops, etc.) on your behalf to Operation Homefront, who will box them into care packages and ship them to a soldier stationed in Iraq or Afghanistan.

But the goodies aren't only for our soldiers. Two lucky commenters are going to win an awesome care package!
includes magazines, stationery, candy, cookies, coffee, tea, soap, lotion, lip gloss, pedicure kit, tea, partylite candles, and more (I can't help myself! I keep adding to it everyday!)

So, if you'd like me to donate to a soldier on your behalf, AND enter you to win a great care package for yourself, you must: Leave a comment telling me why and/or how you choose to support members of the U.S. Military and their families. (I will compile all your supportive comments and print them to be included in the care packages we send through Operation Homefront.)

You can also earn an extra entry into the care package giveaway for each of the following steps you take:

1. Blog about this contest on your own website with a link back here (be sure to come back and leave a separate comment here with the url to your post!)

2. Join my BlogFrog community, and leave a separate comment here telling me you've done so (or already are!).

3. Become a follower of my blog and leave me a comment telling me you've done so (or already are!).

4. Go visit photos by Karyn and leave a comment on your favorite post there. Then come back here and comment telling me which of Karyn's posts you liked best!

If you want to do more to support our troops, get involved with one of the organizations here, here or here. And remember our soldiers need your prayers more than anything!

Contest ends Tuesday, 3/31 at midnight. A winner will be selected randomly by the random.org widget. I will notify the winner via email or comment on their blog, then make an announcement here! (Make sure I can get in touch with you or I'll have to choose another winner!)

Thanks so much for playing! And thank you SITS for the Shout-Out!!

(Care package giveaway open only to residents of U.S. and Canada. *up to 200 donations total)

Fix It Friday: Dimpled Darling

2009-03-20T21:14:00.000-07:00

It's Friday again, and time to practice my photo-editing skills with this adorable photo by Angie of i Heart Faces. Here is my edited version:

And here is the original:

Here is what I did to this photo:
Opened in GIMP. Applied unsharp mask to entire photo. Lassoed irises and lashes and applied a second unsharp mask. Under colors menu, increased brightness and contrast using slider bar. Also decreased reds under Color Balance menu. Lowered overall color saturation. Selected red from color menu and increased lightness, lowered saturation. Added a layer, set to overlay at 50% opacity. Dodged the whites of eyes. Flattened image. Saved.
Opened image in Picnik. Cropped. Used blemish fix on undereye redness. Used shine-be-gone on nose. Added Cross Process effect faded to 85%. Added Sepia and selected peachy/gray from color bar. Saved to my computer. Done!

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Part 5

2009-03-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

Last week, I shared the little Beast's weird obsession with putting his feet in inappropriate places, like poor Beauty's face. This week, I'd like to highlight another of the the little Beast's freakish behaviors: self stamping. He really loves ink stamps, and I like them too because they keep him occupied so that I can have a minute or three of peace. The problem is, he prefers stamping himself over stamping his art paper.

But stamping himself is really just a small part of the problem. Perhaps a bigger issue might be that I occasionally catch him EATING THE INK! (Gross, and probably mildly toxic.)

And as if eating them was not twisted enough, the little Beast upped the ante this week by creating a new way to misuse his stamps. This is what I discovered when I came out of the laundry room one afternoon.

The little Beast had used his stamps to decorate poor Beauty's adorable face! Fortunately, she thinks the little Beast walks on water, so she didn't mind being temporarily tattooed. But, really, What the %@*#?! Is it too much to ask that he use the stamps the way they were intended, rather than as a sibling torture device?!

Damn. You. Dora.

2009-03-17T00:51:00.000-07:00

So this will come as no surprise to my regular readers, but in addition to being wild, crazy, destructive and aggressive, the little Beast is, above all things, L-O-U-D! I mean, grit-your-teeth, clench-your-fists, make-your-ears-bleed noisy. I have been trying to teach him volume control for weeks. We encourage the "inside voice", give timeouts when he wakes his sister with his yelling, even the occassional spanking when the shrieking gets out of control. But all my hardwork is undone every morning at 10:30, when Dora the Explorer takes over our lives.

There are tons of things that annoy me about Dora: her squeaky, nasally voice; her stupid, stuck-in-my-head-all-day songs, that meanypants Swiper. But nothing on television, not the violence of SpongeBob or the bizarre freakiness of Yo! Gabba Gabba, bothers me as much as the top-of-the-lungs call-and-response of Dora. Every episode, over and over again, she tells viewers "Say. It. Louder!" And the little Beast is more than happy to comply, to the misfortune of my poor ears and short thread of patience. The show is only 20 minutes long, but 4 minutes into it, I'm ready to reach into the television and squeeze Dora until her ginormous head explodes!

So, this is it. No more Dora in this house. EVER. Not even if it is the only show on television when Publisher's ClearingHouse shows up with a ten million dollar check for me if I could just distract my kid long enough to sign it. No thanks. You can keep your ten million dollars. We are "Done. With. Dora!" Consider this your official notice, Nickelodeon, we are BOYCOTTING Dora until you teach her to use her inside voice!

If you've got something to vent or complain about, head over to Mama Loco's and link up!

*photo property of www.doratheexplorertvshow.com

I Heart {Green} Faces!

2009-03-16T00:51:00.000-07:00

This week's theme over at i Heart Faces is green, in honor of St. Patrick's Day. Winter continues here in Seattle, which means my ideas for green photos were ~~snowed~~ ~~hailed~~ rained out. I did let the little Beast go outside with his green raincoat and umbrella to stomp in puddles, hoping to capture a great shot. Problem was, everytime I crouched to take his picture, he wanted to put the umbrella over my head, so all my shots of him are thisclose. Oh well, at least we can appreciate his beautiful GREEN eyes in my kids entry for this week! (Update: Thanks to everyone who has complimented his eyes. They ARE naturally green, but also are reflecting a green umbrella! And post-processing brightened them a bit too!)

My sister also braved our crazy Northwest weather so that I could snap this photo outside in my carport yesterday! She is my adult entry:

For more and much better GREEN faces, click the button below and check out all the contestants at i Heart Faces!

He Loves Me.

2009-03-14T01:34:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has spent more than 3 seconds reading my blog will know that I am definitely not in the running for a Mother of the Year Award. I yell. I sometimes curse. I've even locked my toddler in his bedroom while he screamed that he was "all done take a NAAAAAPPPP!". And this week was perhaps worse than usual. All three of us had the flu simultaneously, which meant being cooped up in the house 24/7 with my children, cleaning up more messes than I can count and tackling piles of laundry while battling waves of nausea and a paralyzing headache.

But tonight, I was finally getting a break! Going to have a drink with a girlfriend celebrating her birthday at a local bar. It should've been a wonderful night. But the little Beast jumped on Beauty's head while using her as a makeshift hurdle, which led her to an epic meltdown. Then, the little Beast adamantly refused to go to bed on time, robbing me of the time I needed to straighten my hair and touch up my makeup. Then, Beauty threw up all over my never-before-worn nightclub outfit on my way out the door. At this point, I had used up all but one hour of my babysitter's time, which I knew would be barely long enough to get through the bar line to order a drink, let alone imbibe it!

At my breaking point, I whined to my mom on the phone, "I HATE my life this week!"

To which she replied, "Well, motherhood's not always glamorous."

I laughed and said, "Is it EVER?!" In that moment, I couldn't see past the overwhelming stress of it to remember all the little joys.

BUT THEN... putting the little Beast down for bed, I leaned over him to kiss him goodnight. He put his chubby little toddler hands on my cheeks and said , "I yub you Mama."

With heart melting, and guilt mounting, I replied, "Oh, I love you too buddy. So much. I love you all the way to the moon."

And that charming, clever, angelic little boy responded, "Yeah! and i yub you all da way to da sunshine!"

Well, it may not be glamorous, and somedays it's so exhausting, frustrating, heartbreaking that I can barely keep my head up, but nothing in this world compares to the knowledge that this perfect and precious little person loves me back in spite of all the ways I fail him.

Fix It Friday, First Time!

2009-03-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

My favorite blog, I Heart Faces, has a great weekly feature called Fix It Friday, where they post a photo and let contestants edit it anyway they choose. Since these photos are always way better than anything I've ever taken, I thought I'd try my novice-editing hand at post processing a great portrait. This week's submission is "Cutie Pie" by my friend Lolli over at Life is Sweet.

Here is the beautiful original shot:

And here is my edited version:

Here's what I did:
Opened Image in GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program)
Increased brightness and contrast using curves
Added new layer
Lowered opacity to 40%
Selected paintbrush, fuzzy circle, opacity 20%, color white
With brush size same as iris, painted over irises of eyes to brighten color
Flattened image
Saved
Opened in Picnik Premium
Cropped slightly
Increased color saturation
Played with Orton effect, but portrait looked better without it!

This was so fun! I think I overdid the brightness because I lost the detail of her cheek in profile. And of course, I didn't do anything original here, but it was great practice for me! I think I'll try again next week too!

Field Trip Friday #4

2009-03-12T17:20:00.000-07:00

Okay, another day of office work where my blog is blocked by IT Security, grrrr.... But that means I get to share my favorite posts of the week again. Hope you're ready for another Field Trip:

This is quite possibly the funniest post I've ever featured at Field Trip Friday (here's a tease: it discusses bizarre dolls, unusual street signs and duct tape). Put aside your politics and check out I Wish Wednesday at Blah, Blah, Blah, Blog. But make sure to put down your beverage while you read it unless you like your coffee spewing out your nose.

And because I owe my sister a big huge SHOUT-OUT for stepping up this week and helping me care for sick kids while I had the flu myself (she even called in to take the night off work to stay with me!!), I am featuring a post called Listed Sister by Rene at Not the Rockefellers. It is a fun, sweet, wonderfully written piece by a very talented blogger! Read it, especially if you have siblings, you won't be disappointed!

Enjoy your visits, but be sure to come back soon to read about the little Beast's latest antics!

Spring Fling Winner

2009-03-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

Oh. My. Gosh. 200 followers?! Maybe I should have made following my blog an option for EXTRA entries, instead of a requirement to qualify. Oops. Thanks to everyone who wanted cheesecake enough to follow a stranger! It won't hurt my feelings if you stop following now that the contest is over, LOL! But if you stick around, you'll have fun! My kids are hilarious, I have regular giveaways, and I try to visit at least 2 of my followers daily to spread commment love! Plus, I'm so overwhelmed by the number of people who entered this giveaway, that I'm offering a consellation prize to ONE MORE LUCKY WINNER! Now, the announcement you're all here for:

The winner of the $25 Cheesecake Factory giftcard is:
Joy at Joy to the Blog
The consellation prize goes to: Kimm at Reinvented

Please drop by their blogs and congratulate them! Thanks to random.org for selecting the winners. And thanks to everyone who played. Check back March 23rd - 26th for my best giveaway ever!

What the %@*#?! Wednesday, Part 4

2009-03-10T21:48:00.000-07:00

One of the things that drives me crazy about my little Beast is his predilection for putting his feet places that they don't belong. He loves to put them on my face when I'm changing his diaper (yes, he's still in diapers. I know, I know!) And they always find their way onto the kitchen table during meals (Ewww!). He hooks them like fingers around the knobs on our kitchen drawers in order to climb onto the countertops and stand barefoot browsing through the cupboards. And he even uses them as utensils, as seen at this recent post:

But the thing he most loves to do with his dirty, nasty porkchop feet is put them on his baby sister. Here is a photo montage of just a few of the many, many times I've caught him rubbing his stinky piggy toes on my poor Beauty's face:

Do you notice the smirk of devilish glee he wears while torturing Beauty this way? Seriously, what the %@*#?! Can't he just keep his feet to himself?

If you liked this post, check out my past editions of What the %@*#?! Wednesday here, here and here!

The Great Cheesecake Giveaway!

2009-03-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

Welcome SITStas and all other visitors! Today I'm giving away $25 in cheesecake! That's right, you heard me! It is Spring Fling over at the Secret is in the Sauce, a support site for women bloggers, and in honor of their big celebration, I'm giving one lucky winner a $25 gift certificate for The Cheesecake Factory!

And even if you don't live near one of these delicious and fun restaurant locations, you can use the gift certificate to buy their cheesecakes online so there's no reason NOT to enter this fantastic giveaway! Here's how you can qualify to win:

1. Be a follower of my blog. (You won't be sorry. I have regular giveaways AND my kids are funny!)
2. Comment on this post letting me know you're a follower.

Yep, it's that simple! You can even qualify for MORE chances to win by doing any or all of the steps below: (each action qualifies as one extra entry, but be sure to leave a separate comment for each step you take because your comment counts as your entry!):

3. Join my BlogFrog community using my new widget on the sidebar.
4. Blog about this giveaway on your own site with a linkback to Two Under Two. Whew!
5. Follow me on Twitter (just click my sidebar button!)

I will select a winner using the random.org widget at Midnight EST on Thursday, March 12th (that's 9 am on Wednesday on the West Coast). Please make sure you have a blog or email address I can contact you at or I'll have to choose another winner! Thanks for playing!

I Heart {Cropped} Faces

2009-03-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

{UPDATE} I earned an honorable mention over at I Heart Faces this week! Thanks to site-founder Amy for liking my photo (BTW, I think your idea of a grouping of four in different colors is a GREAT one!) I cannot believe my photo was honored! I really just participate for fun and learning, and because the community of photographers there is so generous and kind! I couldn't be more thrilled with Amy's compliment!!! If you haven't already, head over to I Heart Faces and check out the winners. They are AMAZING. (My shot pales significantly in comparison!)

This week's I Heart Faces theme is Creative Crop, and we're allowed to share our original "before" image and our cropped "after" image. I'm entering the little Beast playing at the park for my kids entry. I tried a square crop on this because I thought it complimented the circular "frame" of the tunnel window. I also played around ALOT with post-processing just for fun. Critiques are encouraged, thanks!

Here is the original:

Check out all the other creatively cropped images by clicking on the button below:

Not Me! Monday, Part 3

2009-03-08T19:46:00.001-07:00

Welcome to another installment of Not Me! Monday! where I do NOT confess to all the mommy mistakes I made this week! If you have misdeeds you'd like to get off your chest, you can join the fun by heading over to MckMama's blog and adding your post to the Mr. Linky widget. But now it's my turn:

This week, I did NOT steal a box of the Girl Scout Cookies I bought for my Sugarbear, then stash them in the console of my minivan where I could secretly enjoy them while running my errands sans-children. (Yep, that's right. I said minivan. I rock the Caravan. That's how I roll!)

I absolutely did NOT sneak out into the carport late last night and sit in my minivan eating hidden Girl Scout cookies. In the dark. By myself.

I also did NOT think to myself while watching Johnny and the Sprites on Playhouse Disney Saturday morning, "Wow, that Johnny is actually kinda hot." If I did start to develop crushes on the stars of my children's cartoon shows, I hope that my pretend Internet friends would NOT stage some kind of cyber-intervention for me.

When the little Beast woke crying at midnight the other night, I felt nothing but sympathy and concern. I did NOT feel even the slightest hint of annoyance at having my blog time interrupted - my only moments of privacy all day since the Beast refuses to take naps anymore. Nope, I was just fine giving up me-time to rub his back until he fell asleep again.

The next day while attempting to enforce naptime, I did NOT stick a chair under the knob of the little Beast's door to keep him in his room after he did NOT knock down his baby gate, climb over his sister's gate, crawl into her crib and wake her from a perfectly peaceful sleep. And I certainly did NOT consider for a split second doing something worse than locking him in his room at that moment. A lesser mom might have, but moms as fabulous at parenting as I am never lose patience.

Well, that's all the bad behavior I'm willing to admit today, but you don't want to miss my post tomorrow when I'm giving away a $25 gift certificate in honor of the SITS Spring Fling!

*photo courtesy of www.theagencygroup.com

Field Trip Friday #3

2009-03-05T22:15:00.000-08:00

It's Friday again. You know, the one day a week I actually have to show up at my job, so don't have time to type a real post. Instead, I like to send you off to read my favorite post of the week. Now, there are a few humor-themed blogs that make me laugh daily, and I've listed those on my lefthand sidebar under "Blogs that Make Me Laugh". Go visit them anytime for a chuckle. But on Fridays I like to bring to your attention personal and multi-purpose blogs like mine that have posted a particularly funny piece in the past seven days. This week, this is the post that made me laugh the hardest:

Upstate Mom of 3 suggests 50 things to do while in an elevator here. I particularly like numbers 11, 16 and 26.

And if you're looking for laughs right here at Two Under Two. Whew!, check out my favorite funnies under "Best of Beauty and the little Beast" at the top of my lefthand sidebar! And check back next week for my SITS Spring Fling giveaway!

What The %@*#?! Wednesday, 3rd Edition

2009-03-04T08:20:00.000-08:00

The little Beast has developed a foul habit of picking his nose. All the time. Constantly. I mean, doing most everything one-handed so that he can keep a finger on the other hand crammed up his nostril to the second knuckle. It is disgusting, and I thought there was no nastier habit, but he recently took "gross" to a dirty new low.

We were driving along in the minivan when, after a few moments of unusual quiet, I heard the little Beast exclaim from the backseat, "Yummy!"

Thinking he'd dug an old french fry out of the crack in his carseat, I cringed and asked, "What's yummy buddy?"

"My booger!" he gleefully replied.

Seriously?! What the %@*#?! That is so sick. I would've preferred he eat the moldy-old-lint-covered fry. Bleck!

(you can view previous editions of WT%W here or here!)

You Capture! Perspective Challenge

2009-03-03T17:31:00.000-08:00

Another round of the You Capture! challenge, and this week's task was perspective. I had a hard time with this one - I guess I'm not an "out of the box" thinker! I tried several, but here are just 2 examples.

Critiques welcomed and encouraged! Thanks!

Not Me! Monday, Part 2

2009-03-02T01:27:00.000-08:00

Well, last week was so much fun, I might make this a weekly event - with photos! Here is a list of some things I definitely did NOT do this week:

I did NOT bribe my toddler with a sucker and DVD to disract him so I could write this post. Nope, no sucker for the little Beast. Definitely NOT at 8 am. Before breakfast.

And the little Beast absolutely did NOT use his toes to eat the sucker I did NOT give him before breakfast this morning.

For that matter, I have NEVER caught him with his feet actually in his mouth, trying to bite his own toenails. Thank goodness, because that would be disgusting. And if he did in fact, allegedly, maybe, perhaps try biting his own toenails, it was certainly NOT my fault, because I always remember to trim his toenails for him when they get long.

Speaking of toes, I did NOT play catch with my feet this week so that my hands would be free to snap pictures of the utter joy on the little Beast's face while we played ball. (Don't look too closely and you won't notice how badly I do NOT need a pedicure. Or how I am NOT way behind on laundry so it is NOT piled on the couch in the background) Side note:If I had done this though, I could then attest to what a surprisingly great ab workout it is!

I did NOT take the little Beast to the park in the pouring rain because I couldn't stand to be cooped up in the house with him and his boundless energy one second longer. I did NOT drag poor Beauty along too, bundled in five hundred or so blankets and completely covered by the carseat and stroller shades. Beauty did NOT cry almost the entire time because she couldn't see anything but the inside of a stroller shade.

The pathetic little crust of a heart-shaped grilled cheese sandwich was NOT the only thing I ate during the kids' waking hours yesterday. And I did NOT make up for going without by gorging myself on twice Beauty's body weight in Mr. Salty's Chocolate Covered Pretzels after the kiddos were tucked into bed. (Pssstt... you can win some of these delicious salty yet sweet treats here!)

I Heart {Messy} Faces!

2009-03-01T23:48:00.000-08:00

Time for another I Heart Faces Contest, and this week's theme is "Messy". I had so many great natural light messy shots from the little Beast's first year of life, but lost them when my computer crashed last summer. So here's a more recent one of him playing with his ink stamp set. Not a great picture because I used the flash, but it fits the theme! And captures his impish personality!

Now, head over to I Heart Faces to check out all the other messes!

ALERT: GREAT GIVEAWAYS!!!!

2009-03-01T05:09:00.000-08:00

Sara at Subjective Beauty has partnered with A Daily Dose of Toni to giveaway a complete blog makeover, and boy are her designs cute! I've entered to win and you can too, by clicking on the title of either blog above! http://www.juststopscreaming.com/2009/02/giveaway-blog-makeover-welcome-to-new.html

Also check this out: Grosgrain: Blushing Buttercream Pettiskirt GIVEAWAY!!!!

You Capture: My Favorite Things. Enter to Win!

2009-02-25T13:15:00.000-08:00

I just discovered a new carnival called You Capture! It's aimed at people who want to improve their skills in photography, or just want to have some fun with a camera. This week's challenge was to take a picture of something you love. Without a flash. No problem! But since it's a challenge, taking a picture of the kids seems too easy. Instead, here is something else I love.

Mr. Salty's Chocolate Covered Pretzels. Love might be too mild a word for what I feel about them. They are an obsession. And perhaps a small part of the reason I'm not losing a pound of my baby weight. Though I like to tell myself that I have an undiagnosed thyroid problem to blame for my chubbiness. Not likely, but whatever makes me feel better, right?!

Now here's the best part of this post! I love these pretzels so much, I want to share them with you! That's right. All you have to do is a) comment on this post, and b) follow my blog. I will choose THREE (count em 3!) following commenters at random to recieve a box of Mr. Salty's Chocolate Covered Pretzels in the mail. Tell your friends! Contest ends Wednesday at 3 pm PST!

Oh, and, Pssst.... Click here to win something cute for a very minimal amount of effort!

What the %@*#? Wednesday, 2nd Edition

2009-02-24T21:29:00.000-08:00

There are hundreds of dollars worth of toys in this house. Toys that light up, talk, sing, roll, bounce; toys that even drive themselves. I'm beginning to think we've wasted every hard-earned penny spent at Toys 'R' Us. The little Beast would rather play with arbitrary, decidedly non-toylike items he finds around the house (like this). Case in point - I left the little Beast alone for a nap, and this is what he did instead of sleeping.

What the %$*#?! Yes, those are diapers. A LOT of diapers. In a mix of types and sizes, which made it a pretty difficult mess to pick up. Oh well... at least they were clean.

I Heart {B&W} Tuesdays!

2009-02-22T23:41:00.000-08:00

Not Me! Monday

2009-02-22T14:10:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! invented by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. I've never participated in this meme before, but this week, I was just such an exceptionally superior mother and human being, that I couldn't resist bragging about a few of the things I didn't do! *wink, wink*

I certainly did not cuss out another car while driving my kiddos to the park this week, and my toddler did not immediately and repeatedly mimic the foul language I didn't speak. And I was not amused and grateful that he mistakenly pronounced my colorful word as "ack-jass" instead of shouting it out the right way.

I did not eat an entire bag of Famous Amos bite-sized cookies in one sitting. I wouldn't do that because I am on a diet. I'm going to lose 15 pounds in 11 weeks, which will be a piece of cake (pun intended) because I possess the most amazing willpower and never give in to my sweet tooth cravings.

I also did not create a makeshift lipstick out of Carmex and pink marker after I did not forget my favorite gloss when meeting friends for lunch this week. I am not that desperately vain.

I did not throw a stuffed dog at my son's head to get him to quiet down while I was on the phone after my highly-effective finger-snapping, glaring and exaggerated head shaking did not work. That would be childish and borderline abusive. And of course I am a model of maturity and unshakable patience.

And speaking of my extraordinary patience, there is no way that instead of cuddling the little Beast as he bawled his eyes out after taking a tumble, I might have said "Well, if you had listened to mommy in the first place and not climbed up the changing table, you wouldn't have fallen and hurt yourself!" I didn't say that because I am endlessly empathetic, even at the end of an extremely trying, napless day!

There, glad I got that off my chest. If you've got some things you want to cop to NOT doing this past week, head over to MckMama's site and play Not Me! too.

Field Trip Friday!

2009-02-20T07:16:00.000-08:00

Hi friends! I'm starting a new feature on Fridays where I recommend my favorite post of the week by a fellow blogger. This week, there's a two-way tie for the posts that made me laugh the hardest. So pack a sack lunch, find a buddy, and take a 2-destination field trip on me!

First stop is Miss Disgrace, where you can "eavesdrop" on a very funny conversation with her toddler.

Next check out "THE DIAPER DIARIES: Always loaded; sometimes full of crap" and read about her hilariously embarrassing special moment!

Have a great time visiting my favorite blogs of the week, but check back soon to find out what new craziness the little Beast has thought up!

My Big Fat Accomplishment

2009-02-18T22:04:00.000-08:00

I picked up the little Beast's usual gourmet lunch at the Golden Arches today. Yeah, that's right, I'm a stellar mom when it comes to balanced nutrition (a multi-vitamin and a Pediasure count, right?) Anyway, as we were pulling away from the drive-through window, I handed him his Happy Meal toy over the back of my seat. Thrilled beyond measure with the cheap hunk of plastic that would shortly be lost and forgotten amongst the other debris stuffed under the backseat, he cheerfully exclaimed, "Thanks, mom! I so proud you!"

Wow! After 2 years, 5 months, and 10 days of exhausting, exasperating, unceasing hard work on his behalf, the little Beast FINALLY offered some measure of gratitude and praise. For what? For handing him a 25 cent toy that came with the artery-clogging meal that I bought, rather than made, and served in the car. Well done, mama, well done.

What the %@*#? Wednesday

2009-02-18T01:20:00.001-08:00

Over the weekend, my dear husband (DH) spotted the little Beast chewing something while glancing around furtively. "What are you eating?", he asked. The little Beast offered the standard toddler response to that question, which is to clamp one's mouth tightly shut and paste the most wide-eyed, innocent look one can muster onto his face. Not fooled for a second, DH pried open the little Beast's jaws and fished this out:

"What IS that?" you ask? Ummmmm.... yeaaaah, THAT is the rubber cap that's supposed to cover the bolt that holds our toilet to the bathroom floor!

What the %@*#? Look how filthy that bolt is! Why would he choose to seek out the dirtiest, most germ-ridden object in our entire house and suck on it? I'd like to be a fly on the wall of his brain for one day, just to get some idea of how his thought processes work!

Tune in next week for another fun installment of What the %@*#? Wednesday!

What A WONDER-ful World

2009-02-16T07:59:00.001-08:00

This week's theme at I Heart Faces is Wonder. My kids entry is a shot of the little Beast checking out lions at the zoo:
My adult entry is my sister holding my baby girl for the first time:
Check out the other fabulous entries by clicking the button below:

Glue On a Dog

2009-02-15T15:23:00.000-08:00

The other day I left the little Beast unattended in a room with my sister's dog. In a few short minutes, our evil genius managed to let the dog out of her crate, find and open a bottle of Elmer's school glue, and squirt said glue all over said dog. Of course, I reprimanded him, but he was probably confused by my laughing demand that he re-enact the moment so I could capture it on camera for all of you. And here it is:

the Re-enactment

Beauty's Revenge

2009-02-11T15:36:00.000-08:00

Writing about our weekend incident at the mall started me thinking about all the other times my children have thrown up on me. The little Beast was a reflux baby, so for more than a year he regularly showered us with regurgitated milk. When Beauty came along, she was thankfully reflux-free, but did go through a short phase of projectile vomiting. One afternoon, I was walking her around trying to soothe her as she fussed. As usual, the little Beast was underfoot tugging at my pant leg to get my attention. Suddenly, Beauty exploded vomit all over the little Beast's head and upturned faced. My dear husband scooped up our screaming son and ran for the bathroom while I, being the exceptionally compassionate mother I am, hollered after him, "Don't clean him up yet - I need to get my camera!" I laughed all the way to the bathroom thinking that the little Beast had finally gotten a little taste (literally, ugh!) of his own medicine! Anyway, here is that disgusting moment captured for posterity:

Silly Faces Contest

2009-02-09T09:39:00.000-08:00

When Beauty was a new baby, she made all kinds of funny faces. I had a hard time choosing the silliest picture to enter this contest.

But the Beast is silly too, so I had to share a pic of him just for fun:

And here is a silly Miss SmartyPants for your enjoyment:

Check out more (and much better) silly photos of kids' faces or submit one of your own over at i heart faces:

Sorry About the Mess

2009-02-08T20:08:00.001-08:00

It started out as a good weekend. After church today, we stopped by the mall so that I could spend a gift certificate. JCPenney was having a grand opening celebration so we headed there first. It was really nice, everything spanking new and sparkling. At least until we got there.

We hadn't been in the store 10 minutes when the little Beast defiled their pristine floors with a couple hundred gallons of vomit. And I just happened to be holding him at the time, so me, him and the shiny new floor were covered in puke. Of course, he had to lose it directly in front of an entrance and a checkout station, so that we could ensure the largest possible audience. Even worse, we were 2 steps from a table full of celebratory cupcakes, and I'm sure the nasty smell was doing nothing for the appetites of Penney's patrons. To top it all off, I hadn't packed a change of clothes in the diaper bag, so I had to strip the little Beast and myself down to our undershirts and stuff our stinky wet clothes into a a plastic shopping sack I begged from a disgruntled and disgusted employee. I won't be showing my face in that store again for a loooooongtime. I got out of there as fast as I could, but it was definitely one of my more embarrassing moments.
(Don't worry - the little Beast is doing okay. Sleeping soundly thanks to a little bit of Tylenol.)